A LESSON FOR PERMISSIVE PARENTS. Loving our children means keeping them from harm, protecting them from self-destructing and keeping them within the bounds of good morals and right conduct. We may not always succeed, but we keep on at it. And pray ceaselessly for them to travel the right road to their ultimate destiny. The right road, as our visiting pastor powerfully emphasized today in his homily.
"You gave her too much independence too soon," said Joe Keffer, Cullen's father. "You failed to protect her."
Touching words from a victim's father. We share the following story by Michael Rubinkam.
__________
Dad of 15-year-old who crashed SUV, killing 3, gets prison
By MICHAEL RUBINKAM, Associated Press
2 days ago
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HONESDALE, Pa. — A suburban New York man who allowed his unlicensed 15-year-old daughter to drive an SUV that crashed in Pennsylvania's Pocono Mountains, killing three of her friends, was sentenced Thursday to up to 16 years in prison by a judge who called his behavior "reckless, stupid and selfish."
Michael Ware, 54, was given a lengthy sentence partly because he lied to investigators about giving his daughter the keys, allowing her to shoulder all the blame for the crash, said Wayne County President Judge Ray Hamill.
"What kind of father does this?" Hamill asked incredulously.
The crash on Aug. 30, 2014, killed Ryan Lesher, Shamus Digney and Cullen Keffer, all 15-year-old sophomores at Council Rock High School in suburban Philadelphia. Three others were hurt.
Ware, who pleaded guilty last month to three counts each of involuntary manslaughter and reckless endangerment, apologized in a brief statement.
"I cannot begin to say how sorry I am," Ware, of Scarsdale, told the judge. "Neither I nor my daughter meant any harm to anyone that day. May those boys rest in peace."
His words rang hollow to the parents of the dead teens. They spoke in court of their pain and their anger toward Ware, who had allowed his daughter to drive on several occasions before the crash, including from New York to their vacation home in Pennsylvania.
"Your desire to be the cool dad devastated an entire community," said Ryan's mother, Lisa Lesher.
Hamill, his voice rising, repeatedly called Ware's actions "preventable, irresponsible, reckless, stupid and selfish" and said he had failed as a father.
Ware's lawyer, Robert Reno, had asked for a sentence of 12 to 23 months. Outside court, he called the sentence "ridiculous" and said there would be an appeal.
Prosecutors said Ware allowed his daughter to drive his Chevrolet Suburban from their Paupack Township home with one of her friends. She then picked up four boys and drove to a restaurant for breakfast. On the way back, she lost control of the SUV and flipped it.
"He basically gave his daughter a gun and put the bullets in it for her," said Wilson Black, Shamus' uncle.
Ware told authorities at the crash scene that his daughter took the vehicle without permission. The girl backed his story "so as not to get him in trouble," according to court documents. It wasn't until two months later that one of the passengers came forward and told police that Ware had given his daughter the keys.
Ware's daughter acknowledged responsibility to vehicular homicide counts in juvenile court and was placed on indefinite probation. She also was ordered to perform 300 hours of community service, pay restitution and write a 2,000-word essay on the impact of her crime.
The victims' parents said Ware not only was responsible for their sons' deaths but also had wrecked his daughter's life.
"You gave her too much independence too soon," said Joe Keffer, Cullen's father. "You failed to protect her."
Sunday, August 23, 2015
Monday, August 17, 2015
St. John of the Cross
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Blanca Datuin
Yesterday at 7:19pm ·
Uncluttering my clutter yielded this copy of passages from "Dark Night of the Soul" (La Noche Oscura del Alma) by St. John of the Cross, which I had kept all these years. It was actually posted by a member of an egroup, I don't know whether It was Searchlight or another egroup. Anyway, it led to my discovery and great interest in the life of this saint who suffered a lot in his life as a Discalced Carmelite priest and mystic. In his spiritual crisis, he found such deep meaning that drove him even closer to God in a union described by this saint..
Yesterday at 7:19pm ·
Uncluttering my clutter yielded this copy of passages from "Dark Night of the Soul" (La Noche Oscura del Alma) by St. John of the Cross, which I had kept all these years. It was actually posted by a member of an egroup, I don't know whether It was Searchlight or another egroup. Anyway, it led to my discovery and great interest in the life of this saint who suffered a lot in his life as a Discalced Carmelite priest and mystic. In his spiritual crisis, he found such deep meaning that drove him even closer to God in a union described by this saint..
From the website on St. John:
The term "dark night (of the soul)" is used in Roman Catholicism for a spiritual crisis in a journey towards union with God, like that described by Saint John of the Cross.
Saint Thérèse of Lisieux, a 19th-century French Carmelite, wrote of her own experience. Centering on doubts about the afterlife, she reportedly told her fellow nuns, "If you only knew what darkness I am plunged into."[1]
While this crisis is usually temporary in nature, it may last for extended periods. The "dark night" of Saint Paul of the Cross in the 18th century lasted 45 years, from which he ultimately recovered. Mother Teresa of Calcutta, according to letters released in 2007, "may be the most extensive such case on record", lasting from 1948 almost up until her death in 1997, with only brief interludes of relief in between.[2] Franciscan Friar Father Benedict Groeschel, a friend of Mother Teresa for a large part of her life, claims that "the darkness left" towards the end of her life.[3]
The term "dark night (of the soul)" is used in Roman Catholicism for a spiritual crisis in a journey towards union with God, like that described by Saint John of the Cross.
Saint Thérèse of Lisieux, a 19th-century French Carmelite, wrote of her own experience. Centering on doubts about the afterlife, she reportedly told her fellow nuns, "If you only knew what darkness I am plunged into."[1]
While this crisis is usually temporary in nature, it may last for extended periods. The "dark night" of Saint Paul of the Cross in the 18th century lasted 45 years, from which he ultimately recovered. Mother Teresa of Calcutta, according to letters released in 2007, "may be the most extensive such case on record", lasting from 1948 almost up until her death in 1997, with only brief interludes of relief in between.[2] Franciscan Friar Father Benedict Groeschel, a friend of Mother Teresa for a large part of her life, claims that "the darkness left" towards the end of her life.[3]
MY DAY IS ENDING
Let go of what you have. As the night descends, remind me again that the soul that walks in love neither rests nor grows tired. I know that it is foolish and ignorant to think that I can achieve union with you without emptying my life of all my trivial passions. But I seem forever content to restrict my soul to childish things, of how much spiritual good and abundance I so easily pass up, blinding myself to the difference between what I am content with and the total transformation that you have offered me.
Descend on my soul like a river of peace: to take away my uncertainties, my fear of the dark.
Let go of what you have. As the night descends, remind me again that the soul that walks in love neither rests nor grows tired. I know that it is foolish and ignorant to think that I can achieve union with you without emptying my life of all my trivial passions. But I seem forever content to restrict my soul to childish things, of how much spiritual good and abundance I so easily pass up, blinding myself to the difference between what I am content with and the total transformation that you have offered me.
Descend on my soul like a river of peace: to take away my uncertainties, my fear of the dark.
Friday, August 14, 2015
Retirement
Is "retired" in your vocabulary? Some people say I'm crazy to still spending time to teach 3 days a week without pay (since the LAUSD dismantled the Division of Adult and Career ED and rendered us, 1700 teachers, jobless). This on top of a dozen other volunteer work. They tell me, join the senior club, enjoy, tour the world, dance, play mahjong. Really? Others bless me, an aging woman, for plodding on to reach out to the unfortunates and keeping the light. I say it's now pure...ly service to my Creator, a form of saying deo gratia, merci dieu. But actually, it's also for a selfish reason: When you give, you also get something in return, though perhaps, only to keep the mind from rusting, the heart from the pain of grieving for a loved one, and the body from crumbling altogether. Leonardo da Vinci once said, "inaction saps the vigor of the mind." And the spirit, most of all.
Wednesday, July 29, 2015
A Revisit to Manila
Nice to be back in LA and regain independence! But sad that the tasks/business I needed to do in Manila didn't get finished because of limited time wasted in heavy traffic and red tape. Had even to cancel reunion w/ dear old friends and UST Philet classmates. Thankful to have bonded, though, with my daughter Lia and her family, with my brothers and their families, and met with my beloved nieces, Mel and Maritel I have not seen for some 40 or more years. (Had a happy time reminiscing their wonderful childhood life with their Lolo, my father.) Felt relieved to see my granddaughter Monica acclimatized to the Filipino environment though her mother and I would prefer her living closer by.
Finally got two copies of Gemino H. Abad's UPON OUR OWN GROUND, a collection of short stories, where Wilfrido's "Rice Wine" and "Cadena de Amor" are included. Can't understand, though, why Jimmy had to pay for the copies. Aren't authors entitled to complimentary copies, at least? Afterall, in the Philippines, from what I heard from Alberto Florentino, authors are usually not paid royalties. (Anvil might be an exception.) Can't understand, too, why I was listed in the Acknowledgments as the "daughter of Wilfrido D. Nolledo." How did I become the daughter of my husband? lol. All in all, however, it's a neat collection of our outstanding writers in English who prove to the world the depth of the Filipino writer and his mastery of the English language developed as a literary craft. Kudos to Jimmy for putting together this collection of some of the best of our Philippine literature. Mabuhay!
Another of my regrets: not having been able to shop for pasalubong. But maybe, I'll be able to go to some Filipino Bakery somewhere here and buy some Filipino delicacies that can pass up as coming straight from the homeland. Isn't that what most returnees are doing? Ha, ha.
As is always my wont when I go to Manila, I opt to live as part of the masses crowding the metropolitan, braving the heat, the rain, eating at the Food Court where you don't know what kind of meat you're eating (or maybe, we just had the ill choice of food court. We went to see a piece of lot my husband and I bought eons ago and rode on a passenger jeepney that went around and around, it seemed, before finally reaching our destination. It is amazing that within five years since my last visit, houses of different kinds and sizes have sprung up like mushrooms around the area of our vacant, wild lot. The country is booming with population.
Finally got two copies of Gemino H. Abad's UPON OUR OWN GROUND, a collection of short stories, where Wilfrido's "Rice Wine" and "Cadena de Amor" are included. Can't understand, though, why Jimmy had to pay for the copies. Aren't authors entitled to complimentary copies, at least? Afterall, in the Philippines, from what I heard from Alberto Florentino, authors are usually not paid royalties. (Anvil might be an exception.) Can't understand, too, why I was listed in the Acknowledgments as the "daughter of Wilfrido D. Nolledo." How did I become the daughter of my husband? lol. All in all, however, it's a neat collection of our outstanding writers in English who prove to the world the depth of the Filipino writer and his mastery of the English language developed as a literary craft. Kudos to Jimmy for putting together this collection of some of the best of our Philippine literature. Mabuhay!
Another of my regrets: not having been able to shop for pasalubong. But maybe, I'll be able to go to some Filipino Bakery somewhere here and buy some Filipino delicacies that can pass up as coming straight from the homeland. Isn't that what most returnees are doing? Ha, ha.
As is always my wont when I go to Manila, I opt to live as part of the masses crowding the metropolitan, braving the heat, the rain, eating at the Food Court where you don't know what kind of meat you're eating (or maybe, we just had the ill choice of food court. We went to see a piece of lot my husband and I bought eons ago and rode on a passenger jeepney that went around and around, it seemed, before finally reaching our destination. It is amazing that within five years since my last visit, houses of different kinds and sizes have sprung up like mushrooms around the area of our vacant, wild lot. The country is booming with population.
Monday, June 1, 2015
FLYING
It's understandable why most people get butterflies in their stomach when about to fly. Reports of plane crashes abound lately: the Malaysia Airlines that was never recovered; some 250 passengers goen to eternity; the plane that was downed by a crazy assistant pilot, and some others lost into air beyond or sea under.. One can have two choices of attitudes: to fly with fear eating you out, or fly with the kind of courage and prayerful hope that nothing will go wrong, the Lord will take care of you. Or, of course, one can just be nonchalant as the frequent flyer who can snore all through the whole trip and dream of the next international conference that deals with issues from an ivory tower higher than Babel's.
But when you're already up there, thrill will possess you: the excitement of being aloft, 28,000 or more feet above the earth, looking down from the plane's window and seeing the map of the place you're leaving behind, the roofs of houses, moving vehicles, bridges and all. Up. up and away, enveloped in the cloud. your plane completely hidden from the world under and from the view of the folks seeing you off.
Flying is a gamble. You put your life in the hands of the pilot, of the weather and the fitness of that giant carrier that will take you to your destination. But that's how it is in life. You have a destination you need to reach and your journey may be bumpy, what with all that turbulence, but you have no other choice but to depend on the factors mentioned, hopefully, working together in perfect harmony.
If you let fear take the better of you to the point you feel paralyzed, you'll never get anywhere. The truth is it is our Creator you must put your faith in to take care of you and wipe away the cloud of disquietude churning in your stomach. So, fasten your belt, calm down, take a deep breath, the plane is taking off.
But when you're already up there, thrill will possess you: the excitement of being aloft, 28,000 or more feet above the earth, looking down from the plane's window and seeing the map of the place you're leaving behind, the roofs of houses, moving vehicles, bridges and all. Up. up and away, enveloped in the cloud. your plane completely hidden from the world under and from the view of the folks seeing you off.
Flying is a gamble. You put your life in the hands of the pilot, of the weather and the fitness of that giant carrier that will take you to your destination. But that's how it is in life. You have a destination you need to reach and your journey may be bumpy, what with all that turbulence, but you have no other choice but to depend on the factors mentioned, hopefully, working together in perfect harmony.
If you let fear take the better of you to the point you feel paralyzed, you'll never get anywhere. The truth is it is our Creator you must put your faith in to take care of you and wipe away the cloud of disquietude churning in your stomach. So, fasten your belt, calm down, take a deep breath, the plane is taking off.
Sunday, April 26, 2015
A PESKY NOSE BLEED AND A SCARY DIAGNOSIS
Blood oozing from the nose unabated, sputtering on my blouse, on the carpet, on the sink, even on the toilet where I spit out as when throwing up a venom of blood. One would think someone was murdered, thus scattering all that blood all over. Didn't want to have to bother my sons; it was 9:00 PM. Ruel must be in the middle of finishing a paper to catch up with a school deadline. Besides, he lives too far. Orly must be asleep; he might have turned off his cell phone. Call 911? Nah, they wouldn't pay attention; it's not life-threatening, they would say. But I was fast losing blood and beginning to weaken. Never experienced a nose bleed that lasted for two hours. Applied cold compress, pinched my nose as I learned from my First Aid lesson, and laid down. But whenever I stood up, there it would start again. I finally gave up and decided to call my son, Orly, who lives closer. Thank got he answered his cell phone. He promptly got up. dressed, and started driving over to my place. He rushed me to Kaiser emergency unit where the pesky nose bleed was treated, but more: blood tests, x'ray. needles stuck on both arms, monitoring heartbeat, blood pressure, IV feeding, etc. The verdict: I had mild pneumonia. You know how you feel when you're stuck with needles on both arms and blood being drawn from you for all kinds of testing? You begin to think of your mortality. Quite a few deaths are attributed to pneumonia, and I sometimes think that when doctors don't really know what one died of, they write "pneumonia" on the line Cause of Death. My regular doctor, however, assured me later this was just cough and cold that takes a few weeks to get rid of. Ah, what a relief.
Grateful to my Orly for staying with me the whole night at the hospital without a wink of sleep till 5 o'clock in the morning. God bless my son!
____
Children are precious. Be pro-life. The child you want to abort may someday save your life.
Grateful to my Orly for staying with me the whole night at the hospital without a wink of sleep till 5 o'clock in the morning. God bless my son!
____
Children are precious. Be pro-life. The child you want to abort may someday save your life.
Thursday, April 2, 2015
From Textmates blog
These are from Textmates blog. Take your pick.
____
Jun 30, 2007
text messages 2551 - 2600
2551. Even in the most fulfilled lives, there's still an emptiness that only God can fill. Let Him guide your steps and bless your way, today and everyday. Good night!
2552. Morning is a sign of God's great love for us. Let us be thankful that we are given a new day to share this love with special people in our hearts. Good morning!
2553. There's music from heaven that takes away our tiredness; it is God's melody of love that quiets all our weariness. Hear it and find peace in His presence. Good morning!
2554. God blesses you to bless others. "To this end I also labor, striving according to His working which works in me mightily." Collosians 1:29. Have a blessed day!
2555. Thank God for today. Choose to see the good side of every event, thing or person in your life, and you'll never run out of blessings to count. Take care!
2556. God said, "Don't get tired of doing what is good. Don't get discouraged and give up, for we will reap a harvest of blessings at the appropriate time." God bless.
2557. I would rather live my life as if there is God to find out there isn't, than live my life as if there isn't and die to find out there is. - Albert Camus
2558. Two children playing in a park begin to argue. One says, "I hate you! I'm never going to play with you again!" For a few moments, they play separately, and they are back playing together and sharing toys. How do children manage to be so angry one minute and best of friends the next? The answer is simple - it is more important to them to be happy than to be right.
2559. Whoever said that what you don't know can't hurt you is a complete total moron, because for most people I know, not knowing is the worst feeling in the world. - Grey's Anatomy.
2560. All my life, I've accepted everything because I believe in this: "Everything happens for a reason." The hardest part is: "Finding out what the reason is."
2561. Trivia: Most people look at their right when recalling the truth and events that actually happened. People look to their left when creating or spinning out new versions of past events.
2562. Life is an echo, what you sent out, you get back; what you give, you receive. When you bring out the best in others, you bring out the best in yourself.
2563. Your mind is like a garden. Tend it well by filling it with positive, encouraging and faith-building thoughts throughout the day. Good morning!
2564. Life has great options, but you don't always have to pick what seems to be the best. Sometimes, the best and the perfect aren't always what makes you happy. Good day!
2565. Burdens of life are like winds against a tree, it makes the tree stronger by forcing it to make its roots run deep for it not to fall. Welcome the winds that strengthen us!
2566. In life, we always search for answers because we want to prove ourselves that we had the right decisions but the truth is we can't search for what's not there. Things happen because it's meant to happen. That's why we forgive people even if they hurt us, we love people who don't love us and we smile despite every painful crash in our hearts. At the end of the day, the lesson you get are the answers to your decisions. Happy weekend!
2567. Life is like taking photographs. We often pose the way we wanna be seen by others. But sometimes, by taking stolen shots, we capture who we really are.
2568. Thought of the day: Our eyes are placed in front, because it is more important to look ahead than to look back.
2569. Believe while others doubt, work while others wish, save while others waste, persevere while others quit, pray and stay while others walk away. Good day!
2570. You don't force love to come in your life, for love comes freely and chooses no one. One day, you might wake up falling in love for the person you least expected!
2571. Love means trusting yourself with someone who has seen you at your worst and loves you in anyway. It means teasing each other and laughing at jokes nobody but only the two of you understands. It means feeling safe enough to talk about anything and having the patience to work out disagreements. It means counting on someone who sympathizes when you had a bad day, worries about you when you're gone too long and always welcomes you with open arms no matter what.
2572. Love should never be a secret. If you keep something as complicated as love stored up inside, it will make you sick. - Spiderman.
2573. Don't be afraid to be loved more than you can return. Be afraid that you didn't give back the love that you can. Love need not be equal to be fair, it only needs to be true.
2574. Chance or choice? When you meet the right person to love at the right place and at the right time, that's a chance. When you meet someone you're attracted to, that's a chance too. Being caught that there are many people out there who are more attractive, smarter, richer than your mate and yet you decide to love your mate just the same, that's a choice. Attraction comes to us by chance. But true love that lasts is truly a choice. Listen: Fate brings you together, but it is still up to you to make it happen. We may meet someone by chance, but loving and staying with that someone is still a choice.
2575. He should know that the great aim of every human being is to understand the meaning of total love. Love is not to be found in someone else, but in ourselves; we simply awaken it. But in order to do that, we need the other person. The universe only makes sense when we have someone to share our feelings with. - Eleven Minutes by Paolo Coelho.
2577. If opportunity doesn't knock, make a door!
____
Jun 30, 2007
text messages 2551 - 2600
2551. Even in the most fulfilled lives, there's still an emptiness that only God can fill. Let Him guide your steps and bless your way, today and everyday. Good night!
2552. Morning is a sign of God's great love for us. Let us be thankful that we are given a new day to share this love with special people in our hearts. Good morning!
2553. There's music from heaven that takes away our tiredness; it is God's melody of love that quiets all our weariness. Hear it and find peace in His presence. Good morning!
2554. God blesses you to bless others. "To this end I also labor, striving according to His working which works in me mightily." Collosians 1:29. Have a blessed day!
2555. Thank God for today. Choose to see the good side of every event, thing or person in your life, and you'll never run out of blessings to count. Take care!
2556. God said, "Don't get tired of doing what is good. Don't get discouraged and give up, for we will reap a harvest of blessings at the appropriate time." God bless.
2557. I would rather live my life as if there is God to find out there isn't, than live my life as if there isn't and die to find out there is. - Albert Camus
2558. Two children playing in a park begin to argue. One says, "I hate you! I'm never going to play with you again!" For a few moments, they play separately, and they are back playing together and sharing toys. How do children manage to be so angry one minute and best of friends the next? The answer is simple - it is more important to them to be happy than to be right.
2559. Whoever said that what you don't know can't hurt you is a complete total moron, because for most people I know, not knowing is the worst feeling in the world. - Grey's Anatomy.
2560. All my life, I've accepted everything because I believe in this: "Everything happens for a reason." The hardest part is: "Finding out what the reason is."
2561. Trivia: Most people look at their right when recalling the truth and events that actually happened. People look to their left when creating or spinning out new versions of past events.
2562. Life is an echo, what you sent out, you get back; what you give, you receive. When you bring out the best in others, you bring out the best in yourself.
2563. Your mind is like a garden. Tend it well by filling it with positive, encouraging and faith-building thoughts throughout the day. Good morning!
2564. Life has great options, but you don't always have to pick what seems to be the best. Sometimes, the best and the perfect aren't always what makes you happy. Good day!
2565. Burdens of life are like winds against a tree, it makes the tree stronger by forcing it to make its roots run deep for it not to fall. Welcome the winds that strengthen us!
2566. In life, we always search for answers because we want to prove ourselves that we had the right decisions but the truth is we can't search for what's not there. Things happen because it's meant to happen. That's why we forgive people even if they hurt us, we love people who don't love us and we smile despite every painful crash in our hearts. At the end of the day, the lesson you get are the answers to your decisions. Happy weekend!
2567. Life is like taking photographs. We often pose the way we wanna be seen by others. But sometimes, by taking stolen shots, we capture who we really are.
2568. Thought of the day: Our eyes are placed in front, because it is more important to look ahead than to look back.
2569. Believe while others doubt, work while others wish, save while others waste, persevere while others quit, pray and stay while others walk away. Good day!
2570. You don't force love to come in your life, for love comes freely and chooses no one. One day, you might wake up falling in love for the person you least expected!
2571. Love means trusting yourself with someone who has seen you at your worst and loves you in anyway. It means teasing each other and laughing at jokes nobody but only the two of you understands. It means feeling safe enough to talk about anything and having the patience to work out disagreements. It means counting on someone who sympathizes when you had a bad day, worries about you when you're gone too long and always welcomes you with open arms no matter what.
2572. Love should never be a secret. If you keep something as complicated as love stored up inside, it will make you sick. - Spiderman.
2573. Don't be afraid to be loved more than you can return. Be afraid that you didn't give back the love that you can. Love need not be equal to be fair, it only needs to be true.
2574. Chance or choice? When you meet the right person to love at the right place and at the right time, that's a chance. When you meet someone you're attracted to, that's a chance too. Being caught that there are many people out there who are more attractive, smarter, richer than your mate and yet you decide to love your mate just the same, that's a choice. Attraction comes to us by chance. But true love that lasts is truly a choice. Listen: Fate brings you together, but it is still up to you to make it happen. We may meet someone by chance, but loving and staying with that someone is still a choice.
2575. He should know that the great aim of every human being is to understand the meaning of total love. Love is not to be found in someone else, but in ourselves; we simply awaken it. But in order to do that, we need the other person. The universe only makes sense when we have someone to share our feelings with. - Eleven Minutes by Paolo Coelho.
2577. If opportunity doesn't knock, make a door!
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