Is "retired" in your vocabulary? Some people say I'm crazy to still spending time to teach 3 days a week without pay (since the LAUSD dismantled the Division of Adult and Career ED and rendered us, 1700 teachers, jobless). This on top of a dozen other volunteer work. They tell me, join the senior club, enjoy, tour the world, dance, play mahjong. Really? Others bless me, an aging woman, for plodding on to reach out to the unfortunates and keeping the light. I say it's now pure...ly service to my Creator, a form of saying deo gratia, merci dieu. But actually, it's also for a selfish reason: When you give, you also get something in return, though perhaps, only to keep the mind from rusting, the heart from the pain of grieving for a loved one, and the body from crumbling altogether. Leonardo da Vinci once said, "inaction saps the vigor of the mind." And the spirit, most of all.
Friday, August 14, 2015
Wednesday, July 29, 2015
A Revisit to Manila
Nice to be back in LA and regain independence! But sad that the tasks/business I needed to do in Manila didn't get finished because of limited time wasted in heavy traffic and red tape. Had even to cancel reunion w/ dear old friends and UST Philet classmates. Thankful to have bonded, though, with my daughter Lia and her family, with my brothers and their families, and met with my beloved nieces, Mel and Maritel I have not seen for some 40 or more years. (Had a happy time reminiscing their wonderful childhood life with their Lolo, my father.) Felt relieved to see my granddaughter Monica acclimatized to the Filipino environment though her mother and I would prefer her living closer by.
Finally got two copies of Gemino H. Abad's UPON OUR OWN GROUND, a collection of short stories, where Wilfrido's "Rice Wine" and "Cadena de Amor" are included. Can't understand, though, why Jimmy had to pay for the copies. Aren't authors entitled to complimentary copies, at least? Afterall, in the Philippines, from what I heard from Alberto Florentino, authors are usually not paid royalties. (Anvil might be an exception.) Can't understand, too, why I was listed in the Acknowledgments as the "daughter of Wilfrido D. Nolledo." How did I become the daughter of my husband? lol. All in all, however, it's a neat collection of our outstanding writers in English who prove to the world the depth of the Filipino writer and his mastery of the English language developed as a literary craft. Kudos to Jimmy for putting together this collection of some of the best of our Philippine literature. Mabuhay!
Another of my regrets: not having been able to shop for pasalubong. But maybe, I'll be able to go to some Filipino Bakery somewhere here and buy some Filipino delicacies that can pass up as coming straight from the homeland. Isn't that what most returnees are doing? Ha, ha.
As is always my wont when I go to Manila, I opt to live as part of the masses crowding the metropolitan, braving the heat, the rain, eating at the Food Court where you don't know what kind of meat you're eating (or maybe, we just had the ill choice of food court. We went to see a piece of lot my husband and I bought eons ago and rode on a passenger jeepney that went around and around, it seemed, before finally reaching our destination. It is amazing that within five years since my last visit, houses of different kinds and sizes have sprung up like mushrooms around the area of our vacant, wild lot. The country is booming with population.
Finally got two copies of Gemino H. Abad's UPON OUR OWN GROUND, a collection of short stories, where Wilfrido's "Rice Wine" and "Cadena de Amor" are included. Can't understand, though, why Jimmy had to pay for the copies. Aren't authors entitled to complimentary copies, at least? Afterall, in the Philippines, from what I heard from Alberto Florentino, authors are usually not paid royalties. (Anvil might be an exception.) Can't understand, too, why I was listed in the Acknowledgments as the "daughter of Wilfrido D. Nolledo." How did I become the daughter of my husband? lol. All in all, however, it's a neat collection of our outstanding writers in English who prove to the world the depth of the Filipino writer and his mastery of the English language developed as a literary craft. Kudos to Jimmy for putting together this collection of some of the best of our Philippine literature. Mabuhay!
Another of my regrets: not having been able to shop for pasalubong. But maybe, I'll be able to go to some Filipino Bakery somewhere here and buy some Filipino delicacies that can pass up as coming straight from the homeland. Isn't that what most returnees are doing? Ha, ha.
As is always my wont when I go to Manila, I opt to live as part of the masses crowding the metropolitan, braving the heat, the rain, eating at the Food Court where you don't know what kind of meat you're eating (or maybe, we just had the ill choice of food court. We went to see a piece of lot my husband and I bought eons ago and rode on a passenger jeepney that went around and around, it seemed, before finally reaching our destination. It is amazing that within five years since my last visit, houses of different kinds and sizes have sprung up like mushrooms around the area of our vacant, wild lot. The country is booming with population.
Monday, June 1, 2015
FLYING
It's understandable why most people get butterflies in their stomach when about to fly. Reports of plane crashes abound lately: the Malaysia Airlines that was never recovered; some 250 passengers goen to eternity; the plane that was downed by a crazy assistant pilot, and some others lost into air beyond or sea under.. One can have two choices of attitudes: to fly with fear eating you out, or fly with the kind of courage and prayerful hope that nothing will go wrong, the Lord will take care of you. Or, of course, one can just be nonchalant as the frequent flyer who can snore all through the whole trip and dream of the next international conference that deals with issues from an ivory tower higher than Babel's.
But when you're already up there, thrill will possess you: the excitement of being aloft, 28,000 or more feet above the earth, looking down from the plane's window and seeing the map of the place you're leaving behind, the roofs of houses, moving vehicles, bridges and all. Up. up and away, enveloped in the cloud. your plane completely hidden from the world under and from the view of the folks seeing you off.
Flying is a gamble. You put your life in the hands of the pilot, of the weather and the fitness of that giant carrier that will take you to your destination. But that's how it is in life. You have a destination you need to reach and your journey may be bumpy, what with all that turbulence, but you have no other choice but to depend on the factors mentioned, hopefully, working together in perfect harmony.
If you let fear take the better of you to the point you feel paralyzed, you'll never get anywhere. The truth is it is our Creator you must put your faith in to take care of you and wipe away the cloud of disquietude churning in your stomach. So, fasten your belt, calm down, take a deep breath, the plane is taking off.
But when you're already up there, thrill will possess you: the excitement of being aloft, 28,000 or more feet above the earth, looking down from the plane's window and seeing the map of the place you're leaving behind, the roofs of houses, moving vehicles, bridges and all. Up. up and away, enveloped in the cloud. your plane completely hidden from the world under and from the view of the folks seeing you off.
Flying is a gamble. You put your life in the hands of the pilot, of the weather and the fitness of that giant carrier that will take you to your destination. But that's how it is in life. You have a destination you need to reach and your journey may be bumpy, what with all that turbulence, but you have no other choice but to depend on the factors mentioned, hopefully, working together in perfect harmony.
If you let fear take the better of you to the point you feel paralyzed, you'll never get anywhere. The truth is it is our Creator you must put your faith in to take care of you and wipe away the cloud of disquietude churning in your stomach. So, fasten your belt, calm down, take a deep breath, the plane is taking off.
Sunday, April 26, 2015
A PESKY NOSE BLEED AND A SCARY DIAGNOSIS
Blood oozing from the nose unabated, sputtering on my blouse, on the carpet, on the sink, even on the toilet where I spit out as when throwing up a venom of blood. One would think someone was murdered, thus scattering all that blood all over. Didn't want to have to bother my sons; it was 9:00 PM. Ruel must be in the middle of finishing a paper to catch up with a school deadline. Besides, he lives too far. Orly must be asleep; he might have turned off his cell phone. Call 911? Nah, they wouldn't pay attention; it's not life-threatening, they would say. But I was fast losing blood and beginning to weaken. Never experienced a nose bleed that lasted for two hours. Applied cold compress, pinched my nose as I learned from my First Aid lesson, and laid down. But whenever I stood up, there it would start again. I finally gave up and decided to call my son, Orly, who lives closer. Thank got he answered his cell phone. He promptly got up. dressed, and started driving over to my place. He rushed me to Kaiser emergency unit where the pesky nose bleed was treated, but more: blood tests, x'ray. needles stuck on both arms, monitoring heartbeat, blood pressure, IV feeding, etc. The verdict: I had mild pneumonia. You know how you feel when you're stuck with needles on both arms and blood being drawn from you for all kinds of testing? You begin to think of your mortality. Quite a few deaths are attributed to pneumonia, and I sometimes think that when doctors don't really know what one died of, they write "pneumonia" on the line Cause of Death. My regular doctor, however, assured me later this was just cough and cold that takes a few weeks to get rid of. Ah, what a relief.
Grateful to my Orly for staying with me the whole night at the hospital without a wink of sleep till 5 o'clock in the morning. God bless my son!
____
Children are precious. Be pro-life. The child you want to abort may someday save your life.
Grateful to my Orly for staying with me the whole night at the hospital without a wink of sleep till 5 o'clock in the morning. God bless my son!
____
Children are precious. Be pro-life. The child you want to abort may someday save your life.
Thursday, April 2, 2015
From Textmates blog
These are from Textmates blog. Take your pick.
____
Jun 30, 2007
text messages 2551 - 2600
2551. Even in the most fulfilled lives, there's still an emptiness that only God can fill. Let Him guide your steps and bless your way, today and everyday. Good night!
2552. Morning is a sign of God's great love for us. Let us be thankful that we are given a new day to share this love with special people in our hearts. Good morning!
2553. There's music from heaven that takes away our tiredness; it is God's melody of love that quiets all our weariness. Hear it and find peace in His presence. Good morning!
2554. God blesses you to bless others. "To this end I also labor, striving according to His working which works in me mightily." Collosians 1:29. Have a blessed day!
2555. Thank God for today. Choose to see the good side of every event, thing or person in your life, and you'll never run out of blessings to count. Take care!
2556. God said, "Don't get tired of doing what is good. Don't get discouraged and give up, for we will reap a harvest of blessings at the appropriate time." God bless.
2557. I would rather live my life as if there is God to find out there isn't, than live my life as if there isn't and die to find out there is. - Albert Camus
2558. Two children playing in a park begin to argue. One says, "I hate you! I'm never going to play with you again!" For a few moments, they play separately, and they are back playing together and sharing toys. How do children manage to be so angry one minute and best of friends the next? The answer is simple - it is more important to them to be happy than to be right.
2559. Whoever said that what you don't know can't hurt you is a complete total moron, because for most people I know, not knowing is the worst feeling in the world. - Grey's Anatomy.
2560. All my life, I've accepted everything because I believe in this: "Everything happens for a reason." The hardest part is: "Finding out what the reason is."
2561. Trivia: Most people look at their right when recalling the truth and events that actually happened. People look to their left when creating or spinning out new versions of past events.
2562. Life is an echo, what you sent out, you get back; what you give, you receive. When you bring out the best in others, you bring out the best in yourself.
2563. Your mind is like a garden. Tend it well by filling it with positive, encouraging and faith-building thoughts throughout the day. Good morning!
2564. Life has great options, but you don't always have to pick what seems to be the best. Sometimes, the best and the perfect aren't always what makes you happy. Good day!
2565. Burdens of life are like winds against a tree, it makes the tree stronger by forcing it to make its roots run deep for it not to fall. Welcome the winds that strengthen us!
2566. In life, we always search for answers because we want to prove ourselves that we had the right decisions but the truth is we can't search for what's not there. Things happen because it's meant to happen. That's why we forgive people even if they hurt us, we love people who don't love us and we smile despite every painful crash in our hearts. At the end of the day, the lesson you get are the answers to your decisions. Happy weekend!
2567. Life is like taking photographs. We often pose the way we wanna be seen by others. But sometimes, by taking stolen shots, we capture who we really are.
2568. Thought of the day: Our eyes are placed in front, because it is more important to look ahead than to look back.
2569. Believe while others doubt, work while others wish, save while others waste, persevere while others quit, pray and stay while others walk away. Good day!
2570. You don't force love to come in your life, for love comes freely and chooses no one. One day, you might wake up falling in love for the person you least expected!
2571. Love means trusting yourself with someone who has seen you at your worst and loves you in anyway. It means teasing each other and laughing at jokes nobody but only the two of you understands. It means feeling safe enough to talk about anything and having the patience to work out disagreements. It means counting on someone who sympathizes when you had a bad day, worries about you when you're gone too long and always welcomes you with open arms no matter what.
2572. Love should never be a secret. If you keep something as complicated as love stored up inside, it will make you sick. - Spiderman.
2573. Don't be afraid to be loved more than you can return. Be afraid that you didn't give back the love that you can. Love need not be equal to be fair, it only needs to be true.
2574. Chance or choice? When you meet the right person to love at the right place and at the right time, that's a chance. When you meet someone you're attracted to, that's a chance too. Being caught that there are many people out there who are more attractive, smarter, richer than your mate and yet you decide to love your mate just the same, that's a choice. Attraction comes to us by chance. But true love that lasts is truly a choice. Listen: Fate brings you together, but it is still up to you to make it happen. We may meet someone by chance, but loving and staying with that someone is still a choice.
2575. He should know that the great aim of every human being is to understand the meaning of total love. Love is not to be found in someone else, but in ourselves; we simply awaken it. But in order to do that, we need the other person. The universe only makes sense when we have someone to share our feelings with. - Eleven Minutes by Paolo Coelho.
2577. If opportunity doesn't knock, make a door!
____
Jun 30, 2007
text messages 2551 - 2600
2551. Even in the most fulfilled lives, there's still an emptiness that only God can fill. Let Him guide your steps and bless your way, today and everyday. Good night!
2552. Morning is a sign of God's great love for us. Let us be thankful that we are given a new day to share this love with special people in our hearts. Good morning!
2553. There's music from heaven that takes away our tiredness; it is God's melody of love that quiets all our weariness. Hear it and find peace in His presence. Good morning!
2554. God blesses you to bless others. "To this end I also labor, striving according to His working which works in me mightily." Collosians 1:29. Have a blessed day!
2555. Thank God for today. Choose to see the good side of every event, thing or person in your life, and you'll never run out of blessings to count. Take care!
2556. God said, "Don't get tired of doing what is good. Don't get discouraged and give up, for we will reap a harvest of blessings at the appropriate time." God bless.
2557. I would rather live my life as if there is God to find out there isn't, than live my life as if there isn't and die to find out there is. - Albert Camus
2558. Two children playing in a park begin to argue. One says, "I hate you! I'm never going to play with you again!" For a few moments, they play separately, and they are back playing together and sharing toys. How do children manage to be so angry one minute and best of friends the next? The answer is simple - it is more important to them to be happy than to be right.
2559. Whoever said that what you don't know can't hurt you is a complete total moron, because for most people I know, not knowing is the worst feeling in the world. - Grey's Anatomy.
2560. All my life, I've accepted everything because I believe in this: "Everything happens for a reason." The hardest part is: "Finding out what the reason is."
2561. Trivia: Most people look at their right when recalling the truth and events that actually happened. People look to their left when creating or spinning out new versions of past events.
2562. Life is an echo, what you sent out, you get back; what you give, you receive. When you bring out the best in others, you bring out the best in yourself.
2563. Your mind is like a garden. Tend it well by filling it with positive, encouraging and faith-building thoughts throughout the day. Good morning!
2564. Life has great options, but you don't always have to pick what seems to be the best. Sometimes, the best and the perfect aren't always what makes you happy. Good day!
2565. Burdens of life are like winds against a tree, it makes the tree stronger by forcing it to make its roots run deep for it not to fall. Welcome the winds that strengthen us!
2566. In life, we always search for answers because we want to prove ourselves that we had the right decisions but the truth is we can't search for what's not there. Things happen because it's meant to happen. That's why we forgive people even if they hurt us, we love people who don't love us and we smile despite every painful crash in our hearts. At the end of the day, the lesson you get are the answers to your decisions. Happy weekend!
2567. Life is like taking photographs. We often pose the way we wanna be seen by others. But sometimes, by taking stolen shots, we capture who we really are.
2568. Thought of the day: Our eyes are placed in front, because it is more important to look ahead than to look back.
2569. Believe while others doubt, work while others wish, save while others waste, persevere while others quit, pray and stay while others walk away. Good day!
2570. You don't force love to come in your life, for love comes freely and chooses no one. One day, you might wake up falling in love for the person you least expected!
2571. Love means trusting yourself with someone who has seen you at your worst and loves you in anyway. It means teasing each other and laughing at jokes nobody but only the two of you understands. It means feeling safe enough to talk about anything and having the patience to work out disagreements. It means counting on someone who sympathizes when you had a bad day, worries about you when you're gone too long and always welcomes you with open arms no matter what.
2572. Love should never be a secret. If you keep something as complicated as love stored up inside, it will make you sick. - Spiderman.
2573. Don't be afraid to be loved more than you can return. Be afraid that you didn't give back the love that you can. Love need not be equal to be fair, it only needs to be true.
2574. Chance or choice? When you meet the right person to love at the right place and at the right time, that's a chance. When you meet someone you're attracted to, that's a chance too. Being caught that there are many people out there who are more attractive, smarter, richer than your mate and yet you decide to love your mate just the same, that's a choice. Attraction comes to us by chance. But true love that lasts is truly a choice. Listen: Fate brings you together, but it is still up to you to make it happen. We may meet someone by chance, but loving and staying with that someone is still a choice.
2575. He should know that the great aim of every human being is to understand the meaning of total love. Love is not to be found in someone else, but in ourselves; we simply awaken it. But in order to do that, we need the other person. The universe only makes sense when we have someone to share our feelings with. - Eleven Minutes by Paolo Coelho.
2577. If opportunity doesn't knock, make a door!
Tuesday, March 24, 2015
REMEMBERING THE LATE FR. ALEXANDER on his death anniversary
Reposting:
What is charisma? A special charm, allure that inspires allegiance or devotion. It is a grace, a gift from God that Father Alexander made good use of in inspiring people. Not by proselytizing or propagandizing, but by being just himself, quietly telling you not to be too hard on yourself. To "live in the present. Forget the past. Just listen to the call of God because He loves you." Always, his message was God loving you. So much so that even a despairing sinner gets to believe it and turns his life around because there is God waiting for everyone to come to Him. He made it sound like a simple requisite that one void of a sense of self-worth can not not heed it. No wonder, whenever parishioners knew he would be the presiding priest, the church would be filled beyond the entrance door. Adult students of mine who had not gone to Church for years started coming back because they could relate to him; he spoke fluent Spanish and Vietnamese aside from his English language, and he was learning Tagalog the last few weeks of his life. He was like a star that skyrocketed from heaven and then vanished just as fast.
To him there were no rejects. The poorest of the poor always first on his list of priority programs. He was so eager to embrace the continuity of our Food Program for the needy, the free health program, the Meal of the Month for the homeless, the ESL Program that has actually been my baby, so many more. At the time of his death, he had some project for the youth. One of the first things he did upon assumption as administrator-pastor of our parish was refurbish the physical facility of the whole compound. Operation Beautification and Cleanliness, he called it. He enjoined the whole neighborhood to participate in the Street Cleaning Operation. Plants and flowers started springing up around. Security fences went up. Suddenly we had a modernized gate built to make ministry members meeting at night feel more safe. The Police was invited to meetings to help build community unity in fighting crime. It seemed like he was always full of ideas he just had to put into action and reality. He helped the needy, counseled the despairing, was always ready to rush to the bedside of the sick and dying whenever called. Perhaps, this was what drained his emotions: he suffered with the suffering.
I had just finished reading my Legion of Mary annual report during our Curia meeting, and had barely sat down when a co-Legionary tapped my shoulder and showed me a text on her cell phone: "Father Alexander passed away this morning." That was Sunday afternoon. We were in disbelief, No, it can't be true! Eloisa, seated next to me, and I bowed our heads, started praying quietly even as we couldn't help weeping, "Lord, please, don't let it be true. Don't take him away from us. Not our beloved pastor." My other co-Legionary went out of the hall where we were having the Curia meeting, frantically trying to reach anyone from the Our Lady of Peace to verify it. Then came an answer from one ministry member: It's true. It was announced in the last afternoon Mass. I wonder if there was a single one in the church with dry eyes the following days. Everyone of us he had touched felt devastated. He was our brother, mentor, counselor, friend most of all.
So many loving memories: When he had met me at the door of the Rectory one Fish Fry day during Lent, he asked if I was coming to join them, and when I answered I couldn't, I just came to get the key to my classroom as I had my ESL class that night, he offered, "I'll have a plate to-go for you," he quickly answered with that look of seriousness you wouldn't think his offer was just out of politeness. Such expression of kindness, so rare even among lay people, I found so touching. I had to say "No, thank you, " but thought it so kind of him. I couldn't possibly bring a whole dish of fish fry; it would have meant whetting the appetite of my students with the smell of the fried fish all the while I was teaching.
Another day, as I was going to pick up again my classroom key from the Rectory, I met him in the hallway. He asked how my granddaughter was. (How he remembered happenings in the lives of his flock. He recalled I flew to Oregon the previous week to visit my granddaughter.) I said, she was fine, but still recovering. He quickly put down the bowl of soup he was snacking on while walking around the Rectory hall. "Come, let's pray for her," he said, and he led in a minute or two of prayer for healing. Quite a few other experiences of his kindness. His sense of understanding, thoughtfulness and show of love to everyone, even to those he just heard of as needing prayers and compassion---it just seemed so spontaneous. Never standoffish. When we had the Pilgrim Virgin of Fatima, I had hoped he would officiate at Mass (because he had such great way of injecting humor in his homilies) but did not dare ask him because I knew he had a load of administrative work. But he must have that I kept asking the Rectory who would be the presiding priest. He approached me the next time I saw him he matter-of-factly said, as though in answer to my unspoken question to him, "I will preside, Blanca." I felt relieved, because I knew our coordinators that brought the Virgin image (that came all the way from Portugal) were just waiting for that. having heard of Father Alexander's kindness. So many other similar experiences of his spontaneous ways narrated by others during his funeral service. And all the time, unknown to us, he was battling with his own problems, his illnesses.
Below is an email from him, circa 2010, that expresses how he could make one feel less bad about having bungled on something. So typical of his comforting words, "Don't be so hard on yourself," to anyone tearing his hair with remorse.
How he could make one feel less bad about oneself after one goofed during Christmas midnight Mass.
From: Fr. Alexander Lewis <alewis@olpeace.org>
To: Blanca Nolledo <bnolledo@gmail.com>
Cc: rhernandez@olpeace.org; carloravancho@yahoo.com; bettydefensor@yahoo.com; chulada-15@hotmail.com; corandgrace@msn.com
Sent: Sun, December 26, 2010 5:44:29 AM
Subject: Re: Goofing...
Not to worry Blanca,
REMEMBERING FATHER ALEXANDER ON HIS DEATH ANNIVERSARY
What is charisma? A special charm, allure that inspires allegiance or devotion. It is a grace, a gift from God that Father Alexander made good use of in inspiring people. Not by proselytizing or propagandizing, but by being just himself, quietly telling you not to be too hard on yourself. To "live in the present. Forget the past. Just listen to the call of God because He loves you." Always, his message was God loving you. So much so that even a despairing sinner gets to believe it and turns his life around because there is God waiting for everyone to come to Him. He made it sound like a simple requisite that one void of a sense of self-worth can not not heed it. No wonder, whenever parishioners knew he would be the presiding priest, the church would be filled beyond the entrance door. Adult students of mine who had not gone to Church for years started coming back because they could relate to him; he spoke fluent Spanish and Vietnamese aside from his English language, and he was learning Tagalog the last few weeks of his life. He was like a star that skyrocketed from heaven and then vanished just as fast.
To him there were no rejects. The poorest of the poor always first on his list of priority programs. He was so eager to embrace the continuity of our Food Program for the needy, the free health program, the Meal of the Month for the homeless, the ESL Program that has actually been my baby, so many more. At the time of his death, he had some project for the youth. One of the first things he did upon assumption as administrator-pastor of our parish was refurbish the physical facility of the whole compound. Operation Beautification and Cleanliness, he called it. He enjoined the whole neighborhood to participate in the Street Cleaning Operation. Plants and flowers started springing up around. Security fences went up. Suddenly we had a modernized gate built to make ministry members meeting at night feel more safe. The Police was invited to meetings to help build community unity in fighting crime. It seemed like he was always full of ideas he just had to put into action and reality. He helped the needy, counseled the despairing, was always ready to rush to the bedside of the sick and dying whenever called. Perhaps, this was what drained his emotions: he suffered with the suffering.
I had just finished reading my Legion of Mary annual report during our Curia meeting, and had barely sat down when a co-Legionary tapped my shoulder and showed me a text on her cell phone: "Father Alexander passed away this morning." That was Sunday afternoon. We were in disbelief, No, it can't be true! Eloisa, seated next to me, and I bowed our heads, started praying quietly even as we couldn't help weeping, "Lord, please, don't let it be true. Don't take him away from us. Not our beloved pastor." My other co-Legionary went out of the hall where we were having the Curia meeting, frantically trying to reach anyone from the Our Lady of Peace to verify it. Then came an answer from one ministry member: It's true. It was announced in the last afternoon Mass. I wonder if there was a single one in the church with dry eyes the following days. Everyone of us he had touched felt devastated. He was our brother, mentor, counselor, friend most of all.
So many loving memories: When he had met me at the door of the Rectory one Fish Fry day during Lent, he asked if I was coming to join them, and when I answered I couldn't, I just came to get the key to my classroom as I had my ESL class that night, he offered, "I'll have a plate to-go for you," he quickly answered with that look of seriousness you wouldn't think his offer was just out of politeness. Such expression of kindness, so rare even among lay people, I found so touching. I had to say "No, thank you, " but thought how so nice of him. I couldn't, however, possibly bring a whole dish of fish fry to my classroom; it would have meant whetting the appetite of my students with the smell of the fried fish all the while I was teaching.
Another day, as I was going to pick up again my classroom key from the Rectory, I met him in the hallway. He asked how my granddaughter was. (How he remembered happenings in the lives of his flock. He recalled I had flown to Oregon the previous week to visit my granddaughter.) I said, she was fine, but still recovering. He quickly put down the bowl of soup he was snacking on while walking around the Rectory hall. "Come, let's pray for her," he said, and he led in a minute or two of prayer for healing. What priest would do that for your loved ones?
Another day, as I was going to pick up again my classroom key from the Rectory, I met him in the hallway. He asked how my granddaughter was. (How he remembered happenings in the lives of his flock. He recalled I had flown to Oregon the previous week to visit my granddaughter.) I said, she was fine, but still recovering. He quickly put down the bowl of soup he was snacking on while walking around the Rectory hall. "Come, let's pray for her," he said, and he led in a minute or two of prayer for healing. What priest would do that for your loved ones?
Quite a few other experiences. His sense of understanding, thoughtfulness and show of caring for everyone, even to those he just heard of as needing prayers and compassion---it just seemed so spontaneous. Never standoffish. When we had the Pilgrim Virgin of Fatima, I had hoped he would officiate at Mass (because he had such great way of injecting humor in his homilies) but did not dare ask him because I knew he had a load of administrative work. But he must have heard that I kept asking the Rectory (because I was assigned the coordinator and had to do the program) who would be the presiding priest. He approached me the next time I saw him and announced, as though in answer to my unspoken question to him, "I will preside, Blanca." I felt relieved, because I knew our coordinators from far-off counties who had brought the Virgin image (that came all the way from Portugal) were just waiting for that,. having heard of Father Alexander's kindness, humor, and warm ways.
When Father Alexander administered Holy Communion to us, as I approached, he would mention my name, as though to show his recognition of me. Did he do that to others? I'm sure he did. So many other similar experiences of his spontaneous ways narrated by others during his funeral service. He was genuine, natural. unaffected, the veritable Father Alexander. And the saddest thing of all was that, unknown to us, he was battling with his own problems, his illnesses.
What is charisma? A special charm, allure that inspires allegiance or devotion. It is a grace, a gift from God that Father Alexander made good use of in inspiring people. Not by proselytizing or propagandizing, but by being just himself, quietly telling you not to be too hard on yourself. To "live in the present. Forget the past. Just listen to the call of God because He loves you." Always, his message was God loving you. So much so that even a despairing sinner gets to believe it and turns his life around because there is God waiting for everyone to come to Him. He made it sound like a simple requisite that one void of a sense of self-worth can not not heed it. No wonder, whenever parishioners knew he would be the presiding priest, the church would be filled beyond the entrance door. Adult students of mine who had not gone to Church for years started coming back because they could relate to him; he spoke fluent Spanish and Vietnamese aside from his English language, and he was learning Tagalog the last few weeks of his life. He was like a star that skyrocketed from heaven and then vanished just as fast.
To him there were no rejects. The poorest of the poor always first on his list of priority programs. He was so eager to embrace the continuity of our Food Program for the needy, the free health program, the Meal of the Month for the homeless, the ESL Program that has actually been my baby, so many more. At the time of his death, he had some project for the youth. One of the first things he did upon assumption as administrator-pastor of our parish was refurbish the physical facility of the whole compound. Operation Beautification and Cleanliness, he called it. He enjoined the whole neighborhood to participate in the Street Cleaning Operation. Plants and flowers started springing up around. Security fences went up. Suddenly we had a modernized gate built to make ministry members meeting at night feel more safe. The Police was invited to meetings to help build community unity in fighting crime. It seemed like he was always full of ideas he just had to put into action and reality. He helped the needy, counseled the despairing, was always ready to rush to the bedside of the sick and dying whenever called. Perhaps, this was what drained his emotions: he suffered with the suffering.
I had just finished reading my Legion of Mary annual report during our Curia meeting, and had barely sat down when a co-Legionary tapped my shoulder and showed me a text on her cell phone: "Father Alexander passed away this morning." That was Sunday afternoon. We were in disbelief, No, it can't be true! Eloisa, seated next to me, and I bowed our heads, started praying quietly even as we couldn't help weeping, "Lord, please, don't let it be true. Don't take him away from us. Not our beloved pastor." My other co-Legionary went out of the hall where we were having the Curia meeting, frantically trying to reach anyone from the Our Lady of Peace to verify it. Then came an answer from one ministry member: It's true. It was announced in the last afternoon Mass. I wonder if there was a single one in the church with dry eyes the following days. Everyone of us he had touched felt devastated. He was our brother, mentor, counselor, friend most of all.
So many loving memories: When he had met me at the door of the Rectory one Fish Fry day during Lent, he asked if I was coming to join them, and when I answered I couldn't, I just came to get the key to my classroom as I had my ESL class that night, he offered, "I'll have a plate to-go for you," he quickly answered with that look of seriousness you wouldn't think his offer was just out of politeness. Such expression of kindness, so rare even among lay people, I found so touching. I had to say "No, thank you, " but thought it so kind of him. I couldn't possibly bring a whole dish of fish fry; it would have meant whetting the appetite of my students with the smell of the fried fish all the while I was teaching.
Another day, as I was going to pick up again my classroom key from the Rectory, I met him in the hallway. He asked how my granddaughter was. (How he remembered happenings in the lives of his flock. He recalled I flew to Oregon the previous week to visit my granddaughter.) I said, she was fine, but still recovering. He quickly put down the bowl of soup he was snacking on while walking around the Rectory hall. "Come, let's pray for her," he said, and he led in a minute or two of prayer for healing. Quite a few other experiences of his kindness. His sense of understanding, thoughtfulness and show of love to everyone, even to those he just heard of as needing prayers and compassion---it just seemed so spontaneous. Never standoffish. When we had the Pilgrim Virgin of Fatima, I had hoped he would officiate at Mass (because he had such great way of injecting humor in his homilies) but did not dare ask him because I knew he had a load of administrative work. But he must have that I kept asking the Rectory who would be the presiding priest. He approached me the next time I saw him he matter-of-factly said, as though in answer to my unspoken question to him, "I will preside, Blanca." I felt relieved, because I knew our coordinators that brought the Virgin image (that came all the way from Portugal) were just waiting for that. having heard of Father Alexander's kindness. So many other similar experiences of his spontaneous ways narrated by others during his funeral service. And all the time, unknown to us, he was battling with his own problems, his illnesses.
Below is an email from him, circa 2010, that expresses how he could make one feel less bad about having bungled on something. So typical of his comforting words, "Don't be so hard on yourself," to anyone tearing his hair with remorse.
How he could make one feel less bad about oneself after one goofed during Christmas midnight Mass.
From: Fr. Alexander Lewis <alewis@olpeace.org>
To: Blanca Nolledo <bnolledo@gmail.com>
Cc: rhernandez@olpeace.org; carloravancho@yahoo.com; bettydefensor@yahoo.com; chulada-15@hotmail.com; corandgrace@msn.com
Sent: Sun, December 26, 2010 5:44:29 AM
Subject: Re: Goofing...
Not to worry Blanca,
i goof at something at least once a day!
Merry Christmas!
_______
On Dec 25, 2010, at 11:14 AM, Blanca Nolledo wrote:
Yesterday, I shopped and I cooked and I booked (for airline)
and hosted unexpected guests,
as I read and memorized.
And then I goofed at church. Mea culpa.
But today and tomorrow, I choose the words:
unmulti-task and stay focused. MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL!
Blanca
Wednesday, March 18, 2015
From my Facebook
Albert B. Casuga commented on your post.
Rediscovering one of my favorite poems when I was in college. It still is a favorite. How we try to elude Him, the Tremendous Lover.
________________
An Excerpt from the “The Hound of Heaven”
I fled Him, down the nights and down the days:...
I fled Him, down the arches of the years;
I fled Him, down the labyrinthine way
Of my own mind; and in the midst of tears
I hid from Him, and under running laughter.
Up vistaed hopes I sped;
And shot, precipitated,
Adown Titanic glooms of chasmed fears,
From those strong Feet that followed, followed after.
But with unhurrying chase,
And unperturbed pace,
Deliberate speed, majestic instance,
They beat — and a Voice beat
More instant than the Feet–
“All things betray thee, who betrayest Me.”
–Francis Thompson
See More
________________
An Excerpt from the “The Hound of Heaven”
I fled Him, down the nights and down the days:...
I fled Him, down the arches of the years;
I fled Him, down the labyrinthine way
Of my own mind; and in the midst of tears
I hid from Him, and under running laughter.
Up vistaed hopes I sped;
And shot, precipitated,
Adown Titanic glooms of chasmed fears,
From those strong Feet that followed, followed after.
But with unhurrying chase,
And unperturbed pace,
Deliberate speed, majestic instance,
They beat — and a Voice beat
More instant than the Feet–
“All things betray thee, who betrayest Me.”
–Francis Thompson
See More
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