Tuesday, November 20, 2012

Another rediscovered review of But for the Lovers

Wilfrido Nolledo's disjointed style merges personalities and events into one stunning nightmare with a momentum all its own kaleidoscopic continuity

Wilfrido D. Nolledo, But for the Lovers, Dalkey Archive Press, 1994 (1970).
"In the years since its original publication, But for the Lovers has acquired an underground reputation as one of the most remarkable novels about World War II, doing for the Pacific war theater what Joseph Heller's Catch-22 did for the European one. Set in the Philippines, But for the Lovers depicts the survival of a cross-section of Filipinos during the Japanese Occupation and the American Liberation.
The cast is enormous, including an old man who used to wander the countryside entertaining children, a young girl raped by Japanese soldiers, guerrilla messengers bringing word of the coming of the American army, and a Japanese major who views the war as the first step of the liberation of the Asian people from Western civilization.
This extraordinary novel is no less remarkable for the power and the beauty of its language than for the exotic and magical world it creates. Ranging from hallucinatory lyricism to documentary realism, from black humor sketches to scenes of horror and degradation, But for the Lovers is a rich and complex exploration of language, history, and mythology."

"For his first English novel, this Filipino author received high praise, including that of LJ's reviewer who claimed Nolledo "[has] perfect control of technique, and appears, enviably, to be able to write almost as he pleases". The novel is set in Manila during the Japanese occupation as the American invasion is beginning. This remains an "important novel."

"The book shows the Philippines as a land of people struggling for hope, surviving against the tyranny of the Japanese as they await General MacArthur's return. But for the Lovers is a classic story of love, war, and freedom." - Explanasian

"This is a strange, compelling book that has the tortuous complexity and is fraught with the labyrinthine terrors of a dream..." - Publishers Weekly
"[Nolledo's] deliberately disjointed style merges personalities and events into one stunning nightmarewith a momentum all its own, and a built-in, kaleidoscopic continuity." - Martin Levin
"There's some ongoing discussion on Filipino-American novels on the Flips Listserve. A series of titles was shared.
Then Paolo Javier mentioned,
THE text that really got me back into reading Philippine Literature was W. Nolledo's BUT FOR THE LOVERS. This book was a real watershed read for me in college, but I didn't so much read it as read THROUGH it...opened my eyes (& heart) to the phil lit section in my college library, which was surprisingly vast (I attended the University of British Columbia)((go figure)). They even had a first edition of the book, published in '71 i think (!!). so do check it out...I immediately and enthusiastically zipped out the following post to the Flips List: "I am so happy Paolo mentioned Wilfrido D. Nolledo's novel, BUT FOR THE LOVERS! This is one of my top two favorite novels ever written by a Filipino author."
I'm a bit surprised now at realizing I've never blathered enthusiastically about this book before. I've long wished to see the type of consistency in energy as well as diction as I've seen in this book... particularly when (in my experience) it's not as mentioned as frequently by those who would teach or create *lists* of Filipino American literature.
Here's a one-paragraph excerpt:
Whenever the boy was away, Hidalgo gave imitations of foliage to the girl. This recital carried him into: alder, myrtle, deodar, linden. He shaped sepal in his hands and spoke of fatal fragrances. On this personal stage the old Spaniard performed with love and variety for he knew his blushing audience would follow him into the restlessness of his art. He had only to mimic the mating call of cauliflowers and she would reward him with unfeigned, even tearful laughter. Posturing on his wriggly cane, he would amble into center light and venture in the delicate rhythm of liche. In his preludes, he was always gay, flamboyant. To this she curtsied, joining him breathlessly, his father's book of dichos in her hand; and together they would take a bow.THAT is a Prose Poem in itself, and yet that paragraph is obviously just one of many in a 316-page book.
Definitely, let's recover this novel out of its undeserved (relative) obscurity. This is the kind of book that, had it been touted over other (cough) choices, would have eased the global reputation of Filipino literature being great writing. Indeed, according to Robert Coover's introduction in the Dalkey edition, this novel was published in 1970 by E.P. Dutton and its editor was the legendary Hal Scharlatt who died (not yet forty) on an indoor tennis court. Coover says that, "Without Scharlatt, Nolledo had no one in the industry to champion his writing. Thus it was that one of the best books of the decade, abandoned by its own publisher, came and went virtually without notice.
Well...what a shame! And don't let us be naive in believing that writing well suffices for marketing and distribution purposes. Writing well suffices for... writing well. Marketing and distribution is something else. So let's spread the word on Nolledo's novel... TODAY.
So, okay: I was enthused. I am still enthusiastic. Note that Coover didn't call this novel one of the *best Filipino novels* out there; Coover called it "one of the best books of the decade" regardless of the author's ethnicity. So Nolledo has never received the attention he deserves—and it's time to rectify that. Apparently, Melissa Nolledo-Christoffels (Nolledo's daughter) is setting up a website that hopefully will serve to introduce Nolledo to a new generation of readers. Great! I look forward to it. Until then, here's another excerpt from Nolledo's novel, BUT FOR THE LOVERS.
Prologue:
HE WAS BEGINNING TO EAT FLOWERS and the crescent moon was in his eyes when he awoke again. One night long ago when they had intercepted a code from the enemy on the shortwave and had not needed him anymore, they pulled out their tents, mantled him with leaves, and left him. They left him a rifle, a buri basket and a book of psalms, for the major had decreed in defense of this murder: Let the little legionnaire lie here and die; it is written, it shall be read. But the boy went on sleeping and did not die and when he awakened it was to see (it was to find himself alone) a bird, a whitewinged maya dart in from the west, perhaps headed for the monsoon. Steadying the Springfield, he cocked the hammer with a quivering thumb, and waited. It flew away, whatever it was, and now he squinted up and remembered that it was the first time in a long spell he had seen the sky, and he thought: It is longer, lonelier and lovelier than any of my prayers. He sighted the nimbus—an eagle in captivity—and fired." - Eileen Tabios"...There are certain things you can not stop. The Fall of Bastille for example. The revolutions in Russia for example. The revolutions in China for example. And then, you can't stop reading a book entitled "But For The Lovers by Wilfrido Nolledo".
Wilfrido who?
Well and well again! Wilfrido Nolledo's book ain't an easy read. At least to me. I wanted to give up its reading after the first fifty pages because, well, it requires somethin' to comprehend, I say somethin' because it is not your typical novel where you see men walkin' and talkin' and plottin' in an expected order. It's a novel that drives me crazy even now because I still don't know what that somethin' is.
It bombards me with millions of images in a stack revealed without any arrangement. The order becomes clear only somewhere close to the end. But in the end I don't know anymore if the characters were real or symbols. Weird really.
Is this novel a poem in prose? Or prose in poem? Would a poet understand it better than me who is non-poet? Is this novel about World War Two (it's time frame) or is it about history (characters composed of natives, Spanish, Japanese, Americans) or is it a social commentary ( struggle between a businesswoman(Tira) and her impoverished tenants) or is it about brutality ( heads rolling, women being raped, Japanese soldiers murdered ) or is it just plain wild ( an exotic dancer turns into a male, a landlady demands to be f---- by male tenants who could not pay rents, and the worst of all, a woman biting a lethargic man's penis until the head is cut off as the building collapses on both, ouch!) or is it about love (Amoran and "the" Filipino girl whose name isn't mentioned) or is it about the Philippines symbolized by "the" Filipino girl whose name can not be mentioned? I can go on and on sharing with you the images and theories that linger in my mind - believe me - there are lots of them in this novel. But some images I can no longer recall. And there is also the big possibility of me misinterpreting these images.
Was this novel written when Salvador Dali was hot?
Another thing about it is its English mastery where every word seems to be plucked out of a mountain of words. Like a novel that painstakingly weighed the use of words. It reminds of the current lamentation of Filipino educators who claim that the lustre of Filipino English in the 1960's has been totally wiped out in this generation.
Was it written in the midst of hallucination? Or some psychedelic imagination in multiple colors like the Hippie colors of the late sixties?
Was it written at a time Pablo Picasso was hot?
Was it written using magic realism to the max?
I may never be able to tell you anything about this novel that came out of our country when we were still the best Asians around.
It is a novel whose style is as contemporary and experimental as our time today. But it is not an easy read. It is not one you'd consider a potential bestseller.
And finally, But For The Lovers reminds me again of the Filipino generation who witnessed the destruction of our country because of the savagery of war. The same generation who wept loud as they saw their Philippine flag replace the American and Japanese flags after the Liberation. The same Filipino generation who built the Philippines as one wealthy and intelligent and peaceful nation in the decade fifties and sixties. The same Filipino generation who are rolling on their graves in disgust and anger at the current generation who don't seem to give a damn about the country that was trusted to them." - Alex Maskara more

 

 

Earlier That Day

but for the lovers




I greeted him hello; he waved me goodbye.

I wrote a book review on "BUT FOR THE LOVERS" by Wilfrido Nolledo. I called his book weird. What followed was even wierder. He went to the ICU the same day. He died two days later. This must never happen to a superstitious man like me.

I bought his book long time ago, together, I think, with "America Is In the Heart" by Bulosan. Never had a chance to read it until it was mentioned in the FLIPS group. I told my sister to get it from my storage. She said she looked and looked but it was nowhere.

So I went. It's been years since I checked out my storage. I opened it and if there was anything that it reminded me of - it was a tomb.

Death was painted all over it. Dead books. Dead authors. Dead singers. Dead writing. Dead past. Everything is dead.

But I thought, who's afraid of death?

So I started to write a free text on my computer about entering my storage. Then I read the book. It took me a while because my winter allergies started attacking me again. Then my job became very busy that I had to work everyday. Then I had to continue training for my first marathon this year. Then I had to deal with pain all over.

I just could not find the time to read any book.

Besides, BUT FOR THE LOVERS was not an easy read. Until I reached its middle and off I went reading.

I was mesmerized by its play of words. By its uniqueness. By the fact that Nolledo and I seem to like writing weird things.

I wrote my review and posted it on FLIPS.

Earlier that day, Mr Nolledo was sent to ICU.

And what I wrote scared the s--- out of me. Because now I understand why I checked my storage and found it so dead. Now I understand why I suddenly thought of dead authors and singers and writers.

Perhaps Mr. Nolledo had a unique way of influencing things. And if he did whisper in my consciousness the things I wrote, I thank him for the great privilege. He is a Philippine treasure.

I think he pulled his last trick on me. Yeah, yeah, yeah, he's mystery.



My Personal Reaction to Wilfrido Nolledo's BUT FOR THE LOVERS

...praised by New York Times Review as "stunning" in its first publication...




I finally visited my storage - and looked at things I kept all these years. Books, lots of books; some read, others not. There are boxes and boxes of assorted items: a glass figurine, old computer components, detergents, clothes, blankets, and my thirteen year old diaries. I call them contemplative diaries, I wrote them to straighten out my mind, and to direct my thoughts. It's awful to look at things I accumulated through my thirteen years living in America.

I see a little box containing a rock from Pinatubo. My father told me it's the closest I could get to the dangerous eruption. I visited Pinatubo twice since then. Then I see all the papers I prepared to get me hired as a Therapist in the US. That was thirteen years ago when America to my mind was this wonderful escape from my country's misfortunes. A way to save my family. Like Zorro, maybe. Like William Tell, I don't know.

My immigrant experience is an experience worthy of a novel itself, another one that I'd probably write and write about, assuming someone might find it readable, or at least understandable. I love to write about the things I go through, only because I want to keep my experience captured forever, like pictures...though unlike pictures, it doesn't fade. Writing makes my experience linger as fresh as a new day everyday. It smells as good as a newly brewed coffee.

I find my coffee maker, the one I used for years until I became allergic to coffee. How I ended up with so many allergies in the US I'd never know. I find Filipino casettes, I don't recall anymore who the top Pinoy singers were when I left. I believe they were Martin Nievera and Gary Valenciano. But certain singers keep me Pinoy forever: Rey Valera, Florante, Asin, and of course, Ric Manrique Jr. and Sylvia La Torre, really, it's always 'of course' when it comes to Bakya Mo Neneng and Leron Leron Sinta.

I take a look at all the Pinoy books I accumulated through the years. My gay books. My classic books. All of them standing along the walls of the storage, like heads of dead corpses in the catacombs of Italy. Begging me to read them all. And I couldn't. There is a limit to one's reading capability. I want to write. I want to exercise. I want to work seven days a week. I want to, argh, I've got so many wants and I can't get them. I place a CD in my CD player.

Ella Fitzgerald is singing Summer Time and Someone To Watch Over Me. You listen to who? My co-workers wonder who Ella Fitzgerald is. Or Nina Simone. Or Edith Piaf. Even Mahalia Jackson they don't know. They're the ones I listen to, I say. Singers? they ask. Of course!

...Summertime and the livin is easy, fish are jumpin' and the cotton is high, your Dad's rich, and you Mama's good-lookin', so hush little baby don't you cry....

And I don't even know if these are the exact words. Ah, don't I just love these jazzy tunes, these show tunes, these - I can't believe I have copies of "The Producers" and "Rent". These Broadway musicals have special meanings - "Producers" brought to life the dead spirit of NY post 9/11. "Rent" creator, whatever his name is, died without seeing his creation top Broadway. Ain't that sad, you spend your entire life trying success and when it's there, you're dead.

Dead - this word no longer threatens me. I used to be so frightened of death until - wait a minute! - what do I know about death? I see death everyday and what it is is nothingness; it's a split second existence without a concept of time or space or anything. Why would I be afraid of a one second moment? No matter how many billions of years pass by when I'm dead, I won't know. It is a temporary change between lives and existence. I believe that even if Jesus were to take me to his House I surely wouldn't know what would happen in the world from that point on. I surely wouldn't be sitting by a window watching the world go by. Who wants to watch the world go by anyway? What I know of the world is what I know about it now - that somewhere in the Philippines, there are so many stupid politicians trying to run it. So there! That is what I know. Do I care?

Not anymore. There are certain things you can not stop. The Fall of Bastille for example. The revolutions in Russia for example. The revolutions in China for example. And then, you can't stop reading a book entitled "But For The Lovers by Wilfrido Nolledo".

Wilfrido who?

Well and well again! Wilfrido Nolledo's book ain't an easy read. At least to me. I wanted to give up its reading after the first fifty pages because, well, it requires somethin' to comprehend, I say somethin' because it is not your typical novel where you see men walkin' and talkin' and plottin' in an expected order. It's a novel that drives me crazy even now because I still don't know what that somethin' is.

It bombards me with millions of images in a stack revealed without any arrangement. The order becomes clear only somewhere close to the end. But in the end I don't know anymore if the characters were real or symbols. Weird really.

Is this novel a poem in prose? Or prose in poem? Would a poet understand it better than me who is non-poet? Is this novel about World War Two (it's time frame) or is it about history (characters composed of natives, Spanish, Japanese, Americans) or is it a social commentary ( struggle between a businesswoman(Tira) and her impoverished tenants) or is it about brutality ( heads rolling, women being raped, Japanese soldiers murdered ) or is it just plain wild ( an exotic dancer turns into a male, a landlady demands to be f---- by male tenants who could not pay rents, and the worst of all, a woman biting a lethargic man's penis until the head is cut off as the building collapses on both, ouch!) or is it about love (Amoran and "the" Filipino girl whose name isn't mentioned) or is it about the Philippines symbolized by "the" Filipino girl whose name can not be mentioned? I can go on and on sharing with you the images and theories that linger in my mind - believe me - there are lots of them in this novel. But some images I can no longer recall. And there is also the big possibility of me misinterpreting these images.

Was this novel written when Salvador Dali was hot?

Another thing about it is its English mastery where every word seems to be plucked out of a mountain of words. Like a novel that painstakingly weighed the use of words. It reminds of the current lamentation of Filipino educators who claim that the lustre of Filipino English in the 1960's has been totally wiped out in this generation.

Was it written in the midst of hallucination? Or some psychedelic imagination in multiple colors like the Hippie colors of the late sixties?

Was it written at a time Pablo Picasso was hot?

Was it written using magic realism to the max?

I may never be able to tell you anything about this novel that came out of our country when we were still the best Asians around.

It is a novel whose style is as contemporary and experimental as our time today. But it is not an easy read. It is not one you'd consider a potential bestseller.

And finally, But For The Lovers reminds me again of the Filipino generation who witnessed the destruction of our country because of the savagery of war. The same generation who wept loud as they saw their Philippine flag replace the American and Japanese flags after the Liberation. The same Filipino generation who built the Philippines as one wealthy and intelligent and peaceful nation in the decade fifties and sixties. The same Filipino generation who are rolling on their graves in disgust and anger at the current generation who don't seem to give a damn about the country that was trusted to them.

Monday, November 12, 2012

FROM THE TREASURE TROVE--What Makes Woman Beautiful

Rummaging into a wealth of manuscripts left by my late husband, Wilfrido, while I was searching the typescript of a novel of his that a publisher heard about and is interested in, I found this news clipping of antiquity, yellowing with age. but bringing back memories that brought me to tears. Interviewed in 1961 (barely three years after our wedding), together with some other national figures, here was his spontaneous reply as published in the Philippines Herald in its November 10, 1961 issue. We both didn't even see it then, but my brother did and clipped it, complete with the page number.
__________________________

WHAT MAKES A WOMAN BEAUTIFUL
by Wilfrido D. Nolledo
short story writer, playwright

A woman is made beautiful by character. To me, character is everything. It is a grace, a charity, a quietness. It is all the poetry we have ever written: all the history we will survive. Character is fate---man's mate. When she behaves like a family, even before she is a mother; when she giggles like a girl but weeps as a woman, The Woman to The Man is all a piece. As in a haiku poem, a pebble cast into a stream creates a ripple, and breaks the stillness. But soon, the water settles and the stream is serene once more. Sometimes, a woman is like that. There is a ripple now and then. But the pebble vanishes; she remains. She is always there. I think that is beautiful indeed, and ... (sorry the rest got cut off by the brittleness of the fold).

Sunday, November 11, 2012


               TO BE HUMAN
              By Blanca Datuin

The thing hoods his head and shrouds his face
Scared to let others know the real him.
Would he let us see the contour of his soul?

Beloved earthling, why do you hide behind
a black shade? Is your face so accursed
it glowers beyond my nightmare? 

 What kind of god tells you to behead 
One who touched not a single strand
Of your hair?

What power sets your mind to mangle
a world so lovingly shaped by the one
true God, then rend yourself to pieces?

What vileness breaks your fragile brain
And turns your humanness into a chimera?
Oh, that you would wake up ,

Look to the sun and not be blinded,
Shake off the shackles and taste
The heroic, wresting lives from the dragon.

Breathe in the fresh scent of flowers,
Cradle a  baby, nurse a wounded soldier.
See, the sky bends to kiss the sea.

Sun gleams resplendent if you let it in.
See the you that is human and beautiful
With all the fullness of your splendor.
                                                  (c) 2009

Friday, September 21, 2012

IN MEMORIAM: Aurora Fernandez



IN MEMORIAM: Aurora Fernandez

Aurora and I had been friends since our days in Iowa City when our respective husbands were with the University of Iowa. We shared many happy moments together: going to socials, enjoying our children play together, exchanging visits, recipes and home tips and even some confidences. We shared the joys and pains of life. Even when distance separated us, we remained close through the mails.

 One of the kindest, thoughtful, most intelligent, and loving persons I’ve ever met, Aurora has so much idealism in helping the poor and needy and in saving the environment. That was uppermost in her mind when she returned to the Philippines where she had done a lot of charitable works. Her declining health, however, forced her to return to the USA where she could be closer to her children whom she loved unconditionally, taking such great pride, as she would later show in her mails to me, in whatever accomplishments they may have had: Audrey in her acupuncture work, Clay in his search for his roots and activism, Mike in his writing and drama aspirations. But then Aurora herself wasn’t just a dedicated nurse; she was such a good and sensitive writer she would have excelled as a writer had she pursued writing as a career.

One of my greatest regrets is not having been able to talk to her or communicate with her somehow before she finally left, so busy I was with my teaching and church work.  (So many things we have left undone  can sometimes fill us with a sense of guilt no matter how we rationalize it.)  But she had always been in my thoughts.

Aurora, you are truly the dawn of love. Rest, my friend. No more pains nor anguish. May the Lord receive you in His kingdom.You'll always be in my prayers.

The following appeared in the Philippine News, Sept. 29, 2012

IN LOVING MEMORY




E-mail
CaptionL
Nurse Aurora Fernandez championed the underserved and underprivileged.
Aurora Fernandez,
tireless activist
Aurora Fernandez died in her Oakland home on Sept. 12, 2012. She was 68.
Aurora was a tireless activist for healthcare issues, especially those concerning the underserved and underprivileged. She worked for decades as a registered nurse, including as a public health nurse in Berkeley, and was a key member of Tambalan, a Filipino organization supporting community-based healthcare programs. 
Her retirement proved equally active. In the Philippines, she volunteered as a patient and women’s advocate for community-based healthcare programs in Bohol and Cebu. In Oakland, she strove to educate her community about kidney disease, nutrition, and the dangers of genetically modified organisms, volunteered for a food bank, and worked to improve multicultural translation services for seniors.
Aurora was known for her energy, intelligence, determination, compassion, and gentle spirit. She was her high school’s valedictorian, graduated summa cum laude from Colegio de San Jose-Recoletos, and received her B.S.N. with highest honors from the University of California at San Francisco. She was a jazz enthusiast and enjoyed the films of Woody Allen and works of William Shakespeare, and spending time with her family.
She is survived by her brothers Douglas, Manuel, and Andy; loving children Clay, Sangumay, and Michael; and beloved grandchildren Elizabeth Aurora and Winston Truce.
Donations may be made in her memory to Visayas Primary Health Care Services, Inc. in the Philippines at vphcs.org (vphcs@yahoo.com;Banco de Oro , F. Gonzales Branch, Acct. #6110005001).
Her memorial service took place September 22, where those she touched contemplated her life through the moving words:
“I slept and dreamt that life was joy.
I awoke and saw that life was service.
I acted and behold, service was joy.”
- Rabindranath Tagore
-------30-------

Sunday, August 12, 2012

Chief Seattle's Speech

 What would he say today?

CHIEF SEATTLE’S SPEECH, 1852
“The president in Washington sends word that he wishes to buy our land. But how can you buy or sell the sky? The land? The idea is strange to us.
Every part of this earth is sacred to my people. Every shining pine needle, every sandy shore, every mist in the dark woods, every meadow. All are holy in the memory and experience of my people. We are part of the earth and it is part of us. The perfumed flowers are our sisters. The bear, the deer, the great eagle, these are our brothers.
Each ghostly reflection in the clear waters of the lakes tells of events and memories in the life of my people. The water’s murmur is the voice of my father’s father. The rivers are our brothers. They carry our canoes and feed our children.
If we sell you our land, remember that the air is precious to us, that the air shares its spirit with all the life it supports. The wind that gave our grandfather his first breath also receives his last sigh.
This we know: the earth does not belong to man, man belongs to the earth. All things are connected like the blood that unites us all. Man did not weave the web of life, he is merely a strand in it. Whatever he does to the web, he does it to himself.
Your destiny is a mystery to us. What will happen when the buffalo are all slaughtered? What will happen when the secret corners of the forest are heavy with the scent of many men and the view of the ripe hills is blotted by talking wires? The end of living and the beginning of survival.
When the last Red Man has vanished with this wilderness and his memory is only the shadow of a cloud moving across the prairie, will these shores and forests still be here? Will there be any spirit of my people left?
We love this earth as a newborn loves its mother’s heartbeat. So, if we sell you our land, love it as we have loved it. Care for it as we have cared for it. Hold in your mind the memory of the land as it is when you receive it. Preserve the land for all children and love it, as God loves us all.
One thing we know: there is only one God. No man, be he Red Man or White Man, can be apart. We are brothers after all.”
—Chief Seattle

Monday, July 16, 2012

A CHILD WHO GREW IN MY HEART

(left picture) Lia in front, with Papa Ding and me, Ruel and Mimi--winter in Iowa, 1969. Right, above, Lia with me, Iowa City, 1966                                                                 
                                                                                                                     

                                                        Celebrating 3rd birthday, Iowa City      Right, kindergarten photo, Lincoln Elementary, Iowa City



Lia, with Papa Ding and Nick Joaquin (Uncle Nick to all my children)
La Consolacion Elem. Graduation
St. Scholastica High                                                                                           




Thursday, July 5, 2012

The true story of Robby

I was asked to forward this to my email group, but I want to share it also with my blog readers.

It is a true story as experienced and written by Mildred Honor.

________________
At the prodding of my friends I am writing this story. My name is
Mildred Honor and I am a former elementary school music teacher from
Des Moines , Iowa .

I have always supplemented my income by teaching piano lessons -
something I have done for over 30 years.

During those years I found that children have many levels of musical
ability, and even though I have never had the pleasure of having a
prodigy, I have taught some very talented
students.

However, I have also had my share of what I call 'musically
challenged' pupils - one such pupil being Robby..

Robby was 11 years old when his mother (a single mom) dropped him off
for his first piano lesson. I prefer that students (especially boys)
begin at an earlier age, which I explained to Robby. But Robby said
that it had always been his mother's  dream to hear him play the
piano, so I took him as a student.

Well,
Robby began his piano lessons and from the beginning I thought it was
a hopeless endeavor. As much as Robby tried, he lacked the sense of
tone and basic rhythm needed to excel.  But he dutifully reviewed his
scales and some elementary piano pieces that I require all my students
to learn.  Over the months he tried and tried while I listened and
cringed and tried to encourage him.


At the end of each weekly lesson he
would always say 'My mom's
going to hear me play someday'.  But to me, it seemed hopeless, he
just did not have any inborn  ability.

I only knew his mother from a distance as she dropped Robby off or
waited in her aged car to pick him up. She always waved and smiled,
but never dropped in.

Then one day Robby stopped coming for his
lessons. I thought about calling him, but assumed that because of his
lack of ability he had decided to pursue something else. I was
also glad that he had stopped coming - he was a bad advertisement for
my teaching!

Several weeks later I mailed a flyer recital to the students' homes.
To my surprise, Robby (who had received a flyer) asked me if he could
be in the recital. I told him that the recital was for current pupils
and that
because he had dropped out, he really did not qualify.


He told me that his mother had been sick and unable to take him to his piano
lessons,
but that he had been practicing. 'Please Miss Honor, I've just got to
play' he insisted. I don't know what led me to allow him to play in
the recital - perhaps it was his insistence or maybe something inside
of me saying that it would be all right.

The night of the recital came and the high school  gymnasium was
packed with parents, relatives and friends. I put Robby last in the
program, just before I was to come up and thank all the students
and play a
finishing piece. I thought that any damage he might do would come at
the end of the program and I could always salvage his poor performance
through my 'curtain closer'.

Well, the recital went off without a hitch, the students had been
practicing and it showed. Then Robby came up on the stage. His clothes
were wrinkled and his hair looked as though he had run an egg beater
through it.  'Why wasn't he dressed up like the other students?'
I thought. 'Why didn't his mother at least make him comb his hair for this
special night?'


Robby pulled out the piano bench, and I was surprised when he
announced that he had chosen to play Mozart's Concerto No.
21 in C Major. I was not prepared for what I
heard next. His fingers were light on the keys, they even danced
nimbly on the ivories. He went from pianissimo to fortissimo, from
allegro to virtuoso; his suspended chords that Mozart demands were
magnificent!


Never had I heard Mozart played so well by anyone his age.
After six and a half minutes he ended in a grand crescendo, and
everyone was on their feet in wild applause!  Overcome and in tears, I
ran up onstage and put my arms
around Robby in joy.  'I have never heard you play like that
Robby, how did you do it?


'  Through the microphone Robby explained: 'Well, Miss Honor ....
remember I told you that my mom was sick? Well, she actually had
cancer and passed away this morning. And well ...... she was born
deaf, so tonight was the first time she had ever heard me play, and I
wanted to make it special.'

There wasn't a dry eye in the house that evening. As the people from
Social Services led Robby from the stage to be placed in to
foster care, I noticed that even their eyes were red and puffy. I
thought to myself then how much richer my life had been for taking
Robby as my pupil.
No, I have never had a prodigy, but that night I became a prodigy
....... of Robby.  He was the teacher and I was the pupil, for he had
taught me the meaning of perseverance and love and believing in
yourself, and may be
even taking a chance on someone and you didn't know why.

Robby was killed years later in the senseless bombing of the Alfred P.
 Murray Federal Building in Oklahoma City in April, 1995.


Thank you for reading this.
May God Bless you today, tomorrow and always.
If God didn't have a purpose for us, we
wouldn't be here!
USA , IN GOD WE TRUST!
--
Live simply.
Love generously.

Care deeply.
Speak kindly.
Leave the rest to God.



















































Monday, June 25, 2012

BULLIES NOTWITHSTANDING, IT'S STILL A BEAUTIFUL WORLD


________________

The way the bullying of Karen Klein has generated thousands of supporters and the denunciation, on the other hand, of the cruel and despicable acts of those student bullies is a very encouraging sign that the world is still peopled by those who believe in nurturing respect and compassion and in the value that to spare the rod is to spoil the child. Though not to be taken literally, it points out the crying need to train and show our children the path to being human and treating others with dignity.  Life can be a cycle of conflicts and it's hard to pinpoint who is to blame for today's growing teenage delinquency: Is it parental negligence? Society's degenerating morals? The  laws that purport to protect the rights of the child but thwart the rights of parents to become parents, or teachers to become teachers? At the heart of this is: how do we really love our children? Is it by becoming permissive? Should the law take away parental authority? These can be  challenging questions and just as challenging as the parenting tasks.

Developing compassion and respect for others can begin actually from early childhood. James Baldwin once said, "Children have never been good at listening to their elders, but they have never failed to imitate them." Do parents practice what they teach? An anti-bias curriculum was once offered at our Los Angeles Valley College here where we reside. Shouldn't such subject be taught earlier than college level, from the elementary level, as a matter of fact? In a Linguistics subject I had taken up before, I wrote a paper on this as a way of critiquing on a magazine called Teaching Tolerance. I rather didn't go for the wor "tolerance" since it somehow connotes some kind of condescension. I would rather go for the phrase "respecting the dignity of every individual." Anti-bias includes being against racism, sexism, ageism, homophobia, handicapism, semitism, etc. In the family, perhaps, parents will be more effective if they demonstrate their own respect for the individual, for the human being, regardless of what each one is. As Father Alexander would say, God loves all of us. Period.

But to go back to Ms. Klein, the outpouring of sympathy for her and the money donations showered on her show just how many compassionate hearts there still are in this earth. This is the virtue those boys should emulate. They need to wake up now with the message of those who have heard of this 68-year-old woman having been victimized with the verbal abuse: cruelty does not pay.  And what has been done as consequence to the bullies? Are their apologies (forced by their parents) enough to make up for their transgressions? Is there true remorse? No amends? No corrective action, even if only some community service? What can their parents make them do to sensitize them? In my sons' school before (the Jesuit-run Ateneo University in Manila, Philippines), I remember how the high school students could not graduate without undergoing an immersion into an environment of poverty where each lived for a week with a poor family, eat what they ate, bathed in the family's makeshift bathroom, washed their own clothes, helped in the house chores, etc . If that were to be done here in America, there's the likelihood of an uproar from some parents who would think such should not be forced on their children.

So, what is to be done in the case of these boys who bullied Ms Klein? Would an immersion into life in a facility of the aged open their eyes on how they will be in their own golden years, learn how to help (and hopefully, love) instead of bully old people?

Shouldn't it be high time politicians and lawmakers got down into a rigid examination of government policies and family laws and started a re- interpretation of freedom with all its ramifications.  An admission that some laws or their limitations have abetted the practice of license and delinquency among youngsters whose sense of judgment has not fully developed yet---this would be a good start. Take the case  of a student who was reported to have created a Facebook group page against her teacher and instigated others to "express your feelings of hatred. ' After she was suspended from school, she retaliated with a suit against the school principal and was, according to the reports, represented by the American Civil Liberties Union.that argued that her right to freedom of speech was violated. She is said to have won and got $15,000 to cover her legal fees. Then her suspension was struck from her school record. How many other such students are likely to follow suit? Can you imagine expressing your criticism of your teacher in public and winning thousands of dollars to boot. Wow! Below is a reaction from someone from Columbia, South Carolina, as appeared in facebook. 
  • 722users liked this comment

    If the ACLU can help a student to file suit against the principal....win $15,000, and have her suspension "wiped from her record", where is the Bullying Act? Was this a jury trial? I'm sorry, but the "freedom of speech" does NOT include your right to encourage OTHERS to "join in".....this is just another example, of teaching these little b****rds, that they can get away with anything. We now have a generation, of "sue happy", belligerant, coddled, whiny, enabled cyberbullies, who are targeting teachers. No wonder, there is such a low rate of graduating students, and teachers leaving the profession [it's not only, for money and benefits, folks!] SHAME ON ALL OF US!
Listen to some of the other comments that got hundreds, nay, thousands of thumbs-up from cyberspace. ILet me share them with you in case you didn't see them on Facebook.

your avatar

6,114 comments

    • 1192users liked this commentRate a Thumb UpRate a Thumb Down10users disliked this comment
      michael  •  Charleston, South Carolina  •  10 hrs ago Report Abuse
      I have a silly idea, why don't we just teach kids that their actions have consequences.
      57 Replies
      • 359users liked this commentRate a Thumb UpRate a Thumb Down9users disliked this comment
        john 9 hrs ago Report Abuse
        Michael, I totally disagree with you because your idea is NOT silly at all.
      • 275users liked this commentRate a Thumb UpRate a Thumb Down21users disliked this comment
        Becca 9 hrs ago Report Abuse
        What, leave politics alone just for a minute, please? Sick of seeing politically themed posts that are irrelevant to the issue at hand!

        Michael, you are right. The problem is the kind of unrelenting consistency and follow up good parenting requires seems like something many parents are... More
      • 165users liked this commentRate a Thumb UpRate a Thumb Down11users disliked this comment
        Donny 8 hrs ago Report Abuse
        (Sarcasm) No, that would be too mean. It might destroy their self-esteem, we can't have them thinking they are all the greatest person that ever lived, despite whatever crummy things they do to others.
        And you've got to be kidding, "republicans blah, blah, blah?" How irrelevant is that here?
    • 804users liked this commentRate a Thumb UpRate a Thumb Down9users disliked this comment
      Groovymack3  •  10 hrs ago Report Abuse
      This is what happens when parents are scared they may upset their kids with discipline
      55 Replies
      • 184users liked this commentRate a Thumb UpRate a Thumb Down7users disliked this comment
        Becca 9 hrs ago Report Abuse
        Some kids call the law and then are removed from the home to live among others like themselves. DCFS doesn't look kindly on spanking and even other forms of discipline, sadly.
      • 316users liked this commentRate a Thumb UpRate a Thumb Down15users disliked this comment
        Don M 8 hrs ago Report Abuse
        Spanking is one form of discipline and if doen the right way it is not cruel or harmful. Parents need to understand that discipline is not out of anger but out of love for the child.
      • 256users liked this commentRate a Thumb UpRate a Thumb Down6users disliked this comment
        Johnny Exchange 8 hrs ago Report Abuse
        Sometimes kids(who are little people) are just scumbags. they make the choices to do horrible things for a feeling of power or superity. Just a week ago in my town a few punk kids killed a chinese food delivery man, then went inside and ate the food. Kids who are scumbags as kids will most likely grow up to be bigger scumbags. Let these bus bullies get punished with legal action friggin little lowlifes!
    • 1127users liked this commentRate a Thumb UpRate a Thumb Down13users disliked this comment
      wakeupamerica  •  Dallas, Texas  •  12 hrs ago Report Abuse
      Kids are not being taught at an early age to respect authority or their elders. Just go to any restaurant and you will see kids staring blankly into an electronic device so the parents can "get some peace". And before you criticize me, I am a parent of two elememtary ages kids. The only time they get electronic devices it is a privledge...such as a long airplane ride. Parents need to take the time to connect with their kids, teach them manners and respect for others. Volunteer with them and help to develop empathy at an early age. I am stunned when their teachers and other adults come up to me and tell me how well mannered and polite my kids are....just for saying "please and thank you". Thirty years ago that was just a normal part of child rearing...sad that kids today do not have these basic skills. I cringe to think of the offspring that this generation produces!
      67 Replies
      • 397users liked this commentRate a Thumb UpRate a Thumb Down16users disliked this comment
        Denise 12 hrs ago Report Abuse
        And how many of these kids are learning their behavior from watching their parents? Just read many of the comments posted here to have a partial idea of how many adults today react to others, whether another poster or even the President, and you have an idea of what kids are being taught at home.
      • 465users liked this commentRate a Thumb UpRate a Thumb Down11users disliked this comment
        Tanisha 11 hrs ago Report Abuse
        It's not the electronic devices, it's the lack of parenting. My girls have all sorts of gadgets but they know respect. And if they get out of line, it's my job to scoot their little butts right back into it. My girls are sweet and polite with manners that children are supposed to have. There is no... More
      • 311users liked this commentRate a Thumb UpRate a Thumb Down7users disliked this comment
        Ann 11 hrs ago Report Abuse
        I cringe to think of the offspring that this generation produces! We're already seeing it on the streets shooting people and in the juvenile courts.
    • 1319users liked this commentRate a Thumb UpRate a Thumb Down18users disliked this comment
      LS  •  10 hrs ago Report Abuse
      My dad would have whipped my Arss for disrespect for an elder. Kids now are numb and dumb.
      105 Replies
      • 732users liked this commentRate a Thumb UpRate a Thumb Down23users disliked this comment
        Doc Bill 10 hrs ago Report Abuse
        their parents are number and dumber
      • 350users liked this commentRate a Thumb UpRate a Thumb Down14users disliked this comment
        Susan 10 hrs ago Report Abuse
        as are their parents...though they wont admit it.
      • 680users liked this commentRate a Thumb UpRate a Thumb Down13users disliked this comment
        Mr B 9 hrs ago Report Abuse
        I went school were teachers use those 3-foot ruler to hit any student misbehaving and when our parents find out we get it from them too. My dad used to say to me 'if the teacher had to go that distance on discipline I must have done something wrong' so get some spanking from him. Now I'm afraid if lay hands on my kids I end up in jail.
    • 521users liked this commentRate a Thumb UpRate a Thumb Down5users disliked this comment
      michael  •  Guntown, Mississippi  •  11 hrs ago Report Abuse
      I remember the days when young people where the hope of the future!!
      Now days I wonder what kind of future we are going to have?
      People MAKE your kids behave. If someone tells you your kids are messing up and you say not my kids YOU are part of the problem.
      48 Replies
    • 488users liked this commentRate a Thumb UpRate a Thumb Down5users disliked this comment
      sandy j  •  Conway, Arkansas  •  11 hrs ago Report Abuse
      As for kids bulling teachers, instructors.. Then send the stupid little twits home and don't let them back in school.. let the parent take the kid from there, since the parent doesn't seem to want to teach the child respect and a lessen in humanity.. And another thing take the
      DAMN computer... More
      36 Replies
    • 316users liked this commentRate a Thumb UpRate a Thumb Down3users disliked this comment
      A  •  New York, New York  •  8 hrs ago Report Abuse
      Being 13 years old myself, even I agree that some kids these days have absolutely no respect for adults and it does shock me. I was always taught to be respectful to my elders. There is a one-word cure for this issue: Discipline!
      27 Replies
    • 909users liked this commentRate a Thumb UpRate a Thumb Down12users disliked this comment
      Kukla  •  12 hrs ago Report Abuse
      Discipline your children by removing and taking away their cell phones and controlling their computer access to the internet facebook and other social networks. Start parenting again.
      57 Replies
    • 1563users liked this commentRate a Thumb UpRate a Thumb Down26users disliked this comment
      Ramona  •  13 hrs ago Report Abuse
      Parents need to start being parents again. This generation is growing up without a sense of responsibility. They have no respect for adults because there are no consequences for their actions. If my child had been caught doing this, she STILL wouldn't be able to sit down!
      154 Replies
    • 228users liked this commentRate a Thumb UpRate a Thumb Down2users disliked this comment
      YouKidMe  •  11 hrs ago Report Abuse
      We were working at the city park watering plants and asked the young kids(some elementary jr. high age) to stay away from the open manhole I was guarding, where the water hose was.One child tried to bounce a ball into it.The biggest girl said we were restricting their rights to make them stay away. The parents called the police on us for harassing them. The policeman was apologetic. I had to endure seeing us in the police report of the local paper, however. I had to explain that to my boss.
      20 Replies
    • 1233users liked this commentRate a Thumb UpRate a Thumb Down12users disliked this comment
      Christopher  •  13 hrs ago Report Abuse
      I can remember being scared to death that I would get into trouble at school and then face my parents. But now, kids raise hell at school and then the parents show up to back them up. God help teachers today.
      86 Replies
    • 651users liked this commentRate a Thumb UpRate a Thumb Down12users disliked this comment
      CL  •  Columbia, South Carolina  •  11 hrs ago Report Abuse
      If the ACLU, can help a student to file suit, against the principal....win $15,000, and have her suspension "wiped from her record", where is the Bullying Act? Was this a jury trial? I'm sorry, but the "freedom of speech" does NOT include your right to encourage OTHERS to "join in".....this is just... More
      50 Replies
    • 353users liked this commentRate a Thumb UpRate a Thumb Down5users disliked this comment
      Cook  •  13 hrs ago Report Abuse
      These kids knew what they were doing.... they must be punished for their actions, if they were on their own they would not do such a thing, but in a group suddenly they are "brave and funny".... this was not funny at all, School must take action in spite the lady won't press charges!
      9 Replies
    • 334users liked this commentRate a Thumb UpRate a Thumb Down5users disliked this comment
      Mixed Chick  •  11 hrs ago Report Abuse
      Lazy parents that don't want their little brats to hate them expect everyone else to do their job and yes we have kids and no we don't allow them to have cell phones or sit in front of the computer constantly, they actually physically move and as a result are not obese like to many kids...one of... More
      10 Replies
    • 117users liked this commentRate a Thumb UpRate a Thumb Down1users disliked this comment
      herman  •  Augusta, Georgia  •  9 hrs ago Report Abuse
      what this behavior shows is , the kids involved have NEVER been taught enough respect for others , because the PARENTS don't have respect for others !!!!! these half pints brats reflect exactly how their raised , and it has no color ,origin,or financial background ,just plain rotten to the core... More
      9 Replies
    • 686users liked this commentRate a Thumb UpRate a Thumb Down14users disliked this comment
      dominic  •  13 hrs ago Report Abuse
      If your kid is a bully that tells a lot about YOU.
      40 Replies
    • 833users liked this commentRate a Thumb UpRate a Thumb Down10users disliked this comment
      Jim  •  9 hrs ago Report Abuse
      If it were my kid , they would't be able to sit down for a week and they would be cleaning that womans house and mowing her yard untill they were 18.
      61 Replies
    • 240users liked this commentRate a Thumb UpRate a Thumb Down4users disliked this comment
      charlotte  •  Tampa, Florida  •  11 hrs ago Report Abuse
      Sad, but it doesn't say much about the parents of the kids from this generation.
      7 Replies
    • 250users liked this commentRate a Thumb UpRate a Thumb Down5users disliked this comment
      avg.citizen  •  10 hrs ago Report Abuse
      Many times when you conference with parents like these, you see the apple doesn't fall far from the tree. They are belligerent and rude, and some cuss during the conferences. Like these boys who saw themselves on video, they just don't believe they could be so mean and the don't pay attention to their actions or words. Some kids will have just said or done something a few seconds before and have the audacity to ask, "What did I do, I didn't do anything." This is the main reason education suffers. A teacher spends 10 to 15 minutes out of 40 minute class pds. correcting and redirecting disruptive, rude students who get the whole class distracted and laughing with their immature and rude comments. Districts, and administrators put it back on teachers to deal, but parent phone calls end up with the parents believing their child is an angel and parents think that teachers sit up nights trying to find ways to make their jobs harder. I've always said that if every adult had to try to get their job done, with 24 or more middle school students hanging out at their workplace, they'd see what teachers have to put up with, or better yet try teaching for a month. They wouldn't last a week.
      16 Replies
    • 42users liked this commentRate a Thumb UpRate a Thumb Down0users disliked this comment
      Superstar Impact  •  8 hrs ago Report Abuse
      One of my students launched a nasty twitter attack against me because I gave him detention for constantly ignoring my requests to be quiet during my instruction. I threatened to press charges but let him off the hook, by reading him the cyber bully law. I told him if he did it again I would revive this charge with the next. I reminded him I have up to a year to file the complaint. He was extremely apologetic. Teachers need to know the law so they can bring a real world reality to the student and some times the parents.
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