Should you Leave Your Church Because of the Scandals?

And so the retired Cardinal Mahoney has been stripped of his administrative duties for having kept from the public all those records of sex abuse by some of his priests. Should church members leave the church for that reason? I have met this kind archbishop the few times he officiated mass in our parish. After the death of our beloved pastor Alexander :Lewis, Cardinal Mahoney presided in our parish during one or two Masses of the Lenten season, which was gratifying as we were like orphans he had to look after. It pains us to see him now suffering over his having committed the mistake of shielding those offending priests even as our heart bleeds for the victims. The question posed by an itinerant media interviewer was: "Are you going to leave your church after learning that of the Cardinal?"

So many Catholics who have strayed away have done so because of some traumatic experience in their past lif with Catholic superiors. Apropos such, let me share an email exchange between me and another member of my then egroup, one who suffered a humiliating experience from the nuns of the Catholic school she had gone to.. To retain her anonymity, I'm changing the name to Ana though the rest is unedited. She addresses me Atsing Blanca because Atse is the Pampango equivalent of Ate in Tagalog, the kind of respectful way of  addressing an older sister; it has no exact equivalent in English.

@yahoo. com.au> wrote:

Dear Atsing Blanca & hello Everyone,

Thank you so much Atse for your comment. I really appreciate it.
I missed you too and all the other active posters on our egroup. I
have learned so much by reading everyone's thoughts...
I haven't been active lately because of my work load..this is the
busiest time of the year for me..

The humiliating experience i had with the church is with me all the
time.Talking about it always leave a painful lump in my throat like
this very moment.For years, i loathed that teacher and all the other
teachers who humiliated me in front of the class.My parents were not
there emotionally like you and like me and like some other parents
are to our own children.But that was my reality and i dealt with it
the best i could.

But it's also that sad reality that motivated me to read and seek
the meaning of the bible which they said is God's Word..
"RIGHTEOUSNESS" is the message i recieve from reading the
bible..When i pondered about "righteousness" ,and looking back now, i
realized that even as a helpless,inocent & ignorant little child
whose only constant companion was the ache in the tummy because of
hunger, there was a righteous conscience.. God provided us with a
righteous conscience as a guide..If we only listen to this little
voice within , life is not going to be so complicated and everyone
will be spiritually connected no matter who,what,and where we all
come from.

As an adult now, it is not right for me to allow childhood experience
to stop me from seeking the fruit of the Holy Spirit..
It is also the message of righteousness that taught me never turn my
anger into loathe and never allow my joy and happiness turn into
gloat..

Thank you Atse for your encouragement. .and thanks everyone for your
time..

love,
Ana

--- In... blanca nolledo <bndatuin@.. .wrote:
>
> Welcome back, Ana! Where have you been? I missed you!
> I'm so sorry to hear you had such a humiliating experience in
receiving your First Communion. I can't blame you for your
bitterness after that. I would feel the same way. Where did this
happen? That teacher should have been reported; your mother should
have gone to the principal or to the parish. If that were done to my
daughter, I would probably have stormed the school and that parish
and screamed (despite my not having too loud a voice): You have no
right to strip anybody, young or old, of dignity! In the eyes of
God, we don't need a white dress or a veil to confess! The truth is
I never heard of girls being required to wear white dresses and
white veils for confession even in the early days. Not in Manila nor
in my hometown Capas.We all loathe cruelty and any other
inappropriate behavior. Yet, that teacher did not represent the kind
and loving Church of God. No such person should ever represent the
Church.
>
> Let me share this with you: I never went to a Catholic school--
we were so poor we couldn't afford it. (My lawyer father preferred
to defend the poor seeking justice rather than side with the rich
exploiting the poor. So, we remained as poor as his clients.) But I
taught Grade 5 before in a Catholic school here in LA. The Mother
principal told me to scream at my students when they misbehaved. She
said I have too soft a voice. So, she would scream at them in front of me, and I
felt so insulted because these were like my own children and didn't
want anybody else screaming at them. I told her I have my own
method: instead of screaming at any misbehaving child in front of the others,
 I would rather take him aside and warn him of the
consequences and if repeated would take the necessary disciplinary action.
 (I raised two boys of my own and they can tell you
 they never in their whole life got screamed at, nor got spanked
by me or by their father, and they turned
out to be caring, thoughtful and responsible men of principles.
Firmness in implementing house rules
and letting them know the consequences helped.) I asked to be
 allowed to have my own disciplinary method. Their
disciplinary method entailed putting the names of misbehaving
students on the board. I told her I don't want to shame a child that
way. I'd rather write on the board the names of the behaving
students to make them feel proud of themselves and be role models. A few other
differences (I overheard her one time putting down Filipino
teenagers which naturally caused me to speak up. Another time she
was overheard asking in dismay, "What, another Filipino to be the
valedictorian? " Gosh, what can we do if the Filipino students are smarter
 and scoring higher than the rest? I didn't last there, as can be expected.
I feel happier in my adult  school now.
>
> My point here is that my experience in that Catholic school,
though very unpleasant, did not cause me to leave my church. Why
would I let my relationship with God be ruined because of some
rotten apples in His Church? They are not THE Catholic Church. The
True Church follows the examples of the Good Shepherd: kind,
nurturing and protective of His sheep. Don't let your childhood
experience deprive you of the fruits of the Holy Spirit.
> God bless.
> Atsing Blanca